Wise vs. Wild Contrast #3: Approach
Approach
Who directs her love storyGirl-Gone-Wild: Self-Manipulated
Girl-Gone-Wise: God-Orchestrated
Girl-Gone-Wild: “And behold, the woman meets him . . . wily of heart.” Proverbs 7:10
Girl-Gone-Wise: She trusts in the Lord with all her heart, and does not lean on her own understanding; In all her ways she acknowledges Him, and He makes her paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6*
The sage father tells his son that a Wild Thing is “wily of heart.” The Hebrew word means guarded, blockaded or secret. Â My Libronix research system reveals that there are just about as many ways to translate this word as there are versions of the Bible:
- Wily of Heart
- Subtle of Heart
- Cunning of Heart
- Sly of Heart
- Crafty Heart
- Crafty Intent
- Secret Intent
- Hidden Agenda
- Making Plans
- Planning to Trick
All the phrases convey the idea of a woman who has an underlying personal agenda and secretly and skillfully manipulates men in order to get what she wants. The corresponding Greek term means “ready to do anything,” usually in the bad sense of tricky and cunning behavior (e.g. “human cunning/craftiness/deceitful schemes” Ephesians 4:14). The wily woman 1) has a personal agenda, 2) wants a man to satisfy it, and 3) does whatever is necessary to make that happen.
A famous biblical example of a wily woman is Delilah. Her story appears in Judges 16. Delilah was Samson’s new girlfriend. After they started dating, five Philistine rulers approached Delilah and offered her a considerable amount of money to seduce Samson into revealing the secret of his enormous strength. She had no qualms about using men, so she fast-forwarded their relationship and cranked up her feminine charm: “Please tell me where your great strength lies,” she pleaded, “and how you might be bound, that one could subdue you.” It’s not hard to imagine her resting her head on Samson’s chest, seductively tracing the outline of his bicep, and coyly teasing him until he gave her an answer.
Samson teased her back. “If they bind me with seven fresh bowstrings that have not been dried, then I shall become weak and be like any other man.”
The next time Samson came, Delilah bound him with bowstrings. She had men hiding in an inner closet, ready to ambush him. But when she called out that the Philistines were on the doorstep, Samson jumped up and snapped his restraints like thread.
Seeing that her first attempt didn’t produce the desired result, Delilah reverted to another tactic. She burst into tears. “Behold, you have mocked me and told me lies. Please tell me how you might be bound.” She continued to sob and would not be comforted until Samson gave her the information she wanted. New ropes would do the trick. If she bound him with new ropes, he would be helpless as a kitten.
On his next visit, she had new ropes on hand. She seductively joked about taming her big kitten as she bound him hand and foot. Once again, when she called out to warn him of Philistines, Samson easily broke free. Seeing this, Delilah pouted and feigned offence at his continued lack of trust. When Samson tried to embrace her, she gave him the cold shoulder and pushed him away. Not until he told her that weaving his locks (think dreadlocks) into her loom would deprive him of strength, did she cheer up, abandon her black mood, and allow him to embrace her.
Her loom went flying on a following visit, when Samson demonstrated for the third time that he had not been forthcoming with the information she wanted. Delilah was incensed. She lashed out in anger and began to accuse and badger him until he was “vexed to death” and finally gave in to her demand:
And she said to him, “How can you say, ‘I love you,’ when your heart is not with me? You have mocked me these three times, and you have not told me where your great strength lies.” And when she pressed him hard with her words day after day, and urged him, his soul was vexed to death. And he told her all his heart. . . Judges 16:15-17
You know the rest of the story. Delilah sent for the lords of the Philistines, made Samson fall asleep on her lap, and shaved off his hair-which represented his Nazirite vow and his special relationship to the Lord. “Then she began to torment him, and his strength left him.” The Philistines seized Samson, gouged out his eyes and threw him into prison. And Delilah got her bag of money.
Planning Evil-Devising Folly
Delilah was exceptionally clever in the craft of manipulation. She undoubtedly knew how to flirt, seduce, admire, compliment, pout, cry, reason, argue, lie, accuse, nag and do whatever else was necessary to achieve her goal. Most women would regard manipulating a man to get money as sordid and disgusting. So you may think that you and Delilah have very little in common. But is manipulating a man to get attention, love, or a ring on your finger really any different? Or is pouting, crying, or nagging to get him to comply with your demands? Or orchestrating circumstances to paint him into a corner? Or doling out physical affection as a reward? Or withholding it as punishment? If you have a noble end in mind, does that justify the means? Can scheming and conniving to manipulate someone for your own selfish gain ever be justified? Is your craftiness any less wily or reprehensible than Delilah’s?
The Bible teaches that crafty, cunning human wiles are “follies.” (1 Corinthians 3:19) Folly is tragically foolish (thickheaded, dumb) conduct that goes against the ways of God. Folly is essentially a lack of wisdom. A “fool” in the Bible is a person who lives life as if God and God’s way were of no consequence. It is a woman who, either by ignorance or by deliberate and calculated premeditation, relies on her own cunning to orchestrate what happens in her romantic relationship. Folly is more than just plain silliness. It actually demonstrates a disdain for God’s truth and discipline. “Fools despise wisdom and instruction.” (Proverbs 1:7)
In God’s eyes, there is no difference between deliberately planning evil and devising a foolish, manipulative scheme. Delilah’s plot to manipulate Samson to gain money, and a contemporary woman’s scheme to manipulate a man to gain attention, fall into the same category. Both are sin. Proverbs 24:8-9 says,
“Whoever plans to do evil will be called a schemer.
The devising of folly is sin,
and the scoffer is an abomination to mankind.”
Delilah was a schemer-a vixen.  She planned to do evil. But according to this verse, “the devising of folly” is also sin. In God’s eyes, wily behavior is sinful behavior. It is evil. So even if a woman has a noble goal in mind – love or marriage, for example, using underhanded cunning and craftiness to reach that goal is wrong. In God’s books, the end doesn’t justify the means. The woman who uses her wiles to manipulate a man is just as guilty of sin as the vixen who plots evil. The verse concludes by pointing out (through a Hebrew poetic device called “parallelism”) that both are scoffers and an abomination to mankind.
Wow. That’s pretty strong language! The vixen and the foolish wily woman are “scoffers” and an “abomination.” What does that mean? To scoff is to scorn, to show contempt, to treat with disrespect or derision, to make fun of. According to Scripture, a wily woman scorns God. She demonstrates contempt for Him. When she decides to manipulate men and circumstances for her own gain, she treats God with derision and disrespect. When she relies on her own craftiness instead of relying on the Lord, it is just as though she mocks and makes fun of God’s ways.
An “abomination” is something that greatly offends God’s righteousness and evokes His extreme hatred and disgust. It is something that gives off a horrible, odious smell and is abhorrent and reprehensible to Him. The definition reminds me of the time I walked into an apartment defiled by the excrement (urine and feces) of numerous cats. The cat litter and feculence hadn’t been cleaned for months, and was everywhere. The sharp, caustic stench was more than I could bear. I ran from the room with my nose and eyes dripping, coughing, gagging, and gasping for clean air. An “abomination” is to God’s senses what that room was to mine. It disgusts Him. Examples of abominations include defective sacrifices (Deuteronomy 17:1), magic and divination (Deuteronomy 18:12), idolatrous practices (2 Kings 16:3), homosexual conduct (Leviticus 18:22), and immorality (Revelation 17:4-5). Would you have thought that scheming and devising folly would also appear on the list of things that are an abomination to the Lord? Do you realize how offended He is by foolish, manipulative behavior? A “heart that devises wicked plans” is near the top of the list of things He absolutely hates. (Proverbs 6:16-18)
A woman’s approach to romance is the third point of contrast between a Wild Thing and a Wise Thing. A Girl-Gone-Wild is crafty. She plots and connives to manipulate her own love story. The Girl-Gone-Wise, on the other hand, trusts God to write and direct the script.
© Mary A. Kassian
This is a pre-publication excerpt from “Girls Gone Wise in a World gone Wild,” © Mary A. Kassian to be published by Moody Publishers in 2010. All rights reserved. You are welcome to link to this post, but please do not copy and/or reproduce this copyrighted material without express written permission of Moody Publishing.
