Wise vs. Wild Contrast #16: Reliability
Reliability
Her faithfulness to commitmentsGirl-Gone-Wild: Undependable
Girl-Gone-Wise: Dependable
Girl-Gone-Wild: “For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey; he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home.” Proverbs 7:19-20
Girl-Gone-Wise: “The heart of her husband trust in her.” Proverbs 31:11
The husband of the Proverbs 7 woman appears to have been a merchant, who often took long trips out of town, as was the custom of merchants those days. The woman assured the young man that there was no chance of him returning unexpectedly to catch them. Her choice of words is interesting. She literally says, “because the man is not in his house.” She uses the impersonal “the man” instead of “my man” and “his house” instead of “our house.” It’s as though she’s distancing herself from her husband, disparaging him, and making their relationship appear very cold and impersonal.
The indifferent, detached manner of referring to her husband is the only clue the woman gives about the state of their relationship. We can only speculate as to what it was like. Perhaps she felt trapped in a loveless marriage. Perhaps her husband was a rude, inconsiderate boor who constantly criticized and belittled her. Perhaps he was so busy in his business ventures, and spent so much time out of town, that she felt ignored, isolated, and lonely. Maybe she suspected that he had been unfaithful too.
Earlier in Proverbs, the Sage tells us that this type of woman “forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God.”(Proverbs 2:17) The phrase “companion of her youth” indicates that the woman once loved her husband. When they first married, they were close confidantes, soul mates, and devoted companions.
We don’t know for sure what happened to contribute to the deterioration of their relationship. But whatever it was, I’m convinced the woman would have had a compelling story to justify why she was breaking her commitment. The young man probably empathized with her reasons. Her explanation would probably tug at our heartstrings too. But there’s no reason that could ever justify her behavior in the eyes of God. Covenant unfaithfulness is reprehensible to Him. God expects that we will keep our word. When the woman cheated on her husband, she essentially forgot (abandoned, distanced herself from) “the covenant of her God.”
Marriage is much more than a human covenant. It’s “a covenant of God.” When a woman breaks faith with her husband, she doesn’t just sin against her husband, she also sins against God, and, as we’ll soon see, against the entire covenant community of believers. She breaks and profanes covenant in multiple relationships and on multiple levels. Before we look at the passage that links all these covenant relationships together, I want to make sure that you understand what a covenant is.
A covenant is an arrangement between two parties involving mutual obligation. It’s an agreement, binding promise, or standing contract that links or brings them together and unifies them in some way. Covenant is one of the central themes of the Bible, where some covenants are between humans and others between God and humans. The word “testament” is another word for “covenant.” Our Bibles divide into Old and New Testaments, which correspond to the old and new covenants that God made with humanity.
A covenant is essentially a mutual commitment. A variety of human relationships, from profoundly personal to distantly political, can be described as covenantal. Best friends David and Jonathan made covenant promises to each other. (1 Samuel 18:3) A husband and wife enter into a covenant of marriage. (Malachi 2:14) The elders of Israel made a national covenant with King David. (2 Samuel 5:3) King Solomon entered into a covenant with Hiram, king of Tyre. (1 Kings 5:12) An individual could, at least figuratively, make a covenant or vow with himself. Job, arguing his integrity before God, referred to a covenant he had made with his eyes to keep him from looking at a woman lustfully. (Job 31:1)
A covenant can be based on a promise or vow that one individual makes to another individual, or it can be based on an obligation that an individual assumes by being part of a collective group. For example, citizens of the United States have obligations toward their country simply because they were born American. They didn’t choose the obligation. It rests on their shoulders by virtue of their nationality.
A covenant is an interpersonal framework of trust, responsibilities, and benefits. It stipulates that we have responsibilities to fulfill obligations towards others and to behave in a certain way toward them. The key word in Scripture to describe covenant responsibility is the word “faithfulness.” Faithfulness is maintaining faith or allegiance. It’s being responsible to fulfill a commitment. It means that I do what I say I’m going to do, and what our agreement obligates me to do.
Scripture emphasizes that faithfulness is an attribute of God. He always does what He says He’s going to do. If He makes a promise, He keeps it. If He makes a commitment, He never turns His back on it. He is faithful to fulfill His responsibility. He keeps His word. He’s totally and completely trustworthy. When He made a covenant with the Hebrew people, He told them, “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations.” (Deuteronomy 7:9) God remembers His promises forever. (Psalm 111:5) He is never unfaithful. Not ever! “If we are faithless, he remains faithful-for he cannot deny himself.” (2 Timothy 2:13)
The covenant-keeping nature of God is the foundation for faithfulness within human relationships. His faithfulness places a responsibility for faithfulness on our shoulders. He expects us to keep faith with Him, with our spouses, and with other people. He wants us to be as reliable to our commitments as He is to His.
© Mary A. Kassian
This is a pre-publication excerpt from “Girls Gone Wise in a World gone Wild,” © Mary A. Kassian to be published by Moody Publishers in 2010. All rights reserved. You are welcome to link to this post, but please do not copy and/or reproduce this copyrighted material without express written permission of Moody Publishing.
