Book Blog 17: Sweet Talkin’ Woman
She was a sweet-talkin’ woman. She knew how to turn on the charm, butter him up, and get him to do her bidding. The way a woman uses words is another point of contrast between a wild and a wise woman. In this book blog, you’ll find out that using sweet talk is a strategy that sours relationships. If you want to enjoy life and see good days, you’ll mind your mouth and exchange your wild speech habits for those of a Girl-Gone-Wise.
- Read the seventeenth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 217-225)
- Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
- Download and complete the Conversation Peace Quiz
- Post your comments on the Blog
- What’s the difference between a legitimate compliment and flattery?
- What’s the problem with talking excessively?
- How can using words to beguile, control and manipulate a man backfire on a woman?
- In which main area does your speech need improvement?
© Mary A. Kassian
Category: Blog, Communication, Video Book Blog
Greetings Mary and sisters in Christ!
Another excellent chapter, Mary! I read it slowly and carefully, being convicted often as I read. This chapter showed me that I definitely have things to work on. The area of speech is SO important in life, and I think a woman will build up or tear down her world around her, accordingly (Pr. 14:1). May we be wise women who build up those around us, as well as our own spheres of influence! Stable and sure in our speech and ways!
* ” The difference between a legitimate compliment and flattery is accuracy and motive. A legitimate compliment is not false, exaggerated, or motivated by self-interest. It’s simply intended to encourage and give credit where credit is due. Flattery is self-serving and insincere. “Sincere” implies an absence of deceit, pretense, or hypocrisy, and an adherence to the simple, unembellished truth. It’s derived from the Latin sine ceras, which means without wax.” (p. 222, first full paragraph)
Thank you Mary! I really needed that definition, as the Lord uses me to encourage people a lot, and sometimes I wonder if I am flattering them. I now see the difference; thank you!! BTW, I loved the explanation of “sine ceras” you gave on p. 222 — I think I’ll always remember that, and seek to be a vessel “without wax”…
* “The Bible is clear that excessive speech is usually sinful speech. ‘When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.’ (Proverbs 10:19).” (p. 219, from the last paragraph) And here I quote from p. 220, some of Mary’s words from the 2nd full paragraph:
“Restraining words means that you don’t have to have an opinion on everything… to comment on everything… to constantly make your thoughts known… to be proved right… to show off your superior knowledge… to constantly offer advice… to nag. Restraining words means that you
carefully weigh an answer before you speak, and that you hold back from constantly weighing in. It means that you are quick to listern, but slow to speak (James 1:19).”
Proverbs says much about waiting to speak, being slow in making judgments. Praying about it, thinking about it, wisely considering before we speak. I find when I have done this, I usually have something useful to say, sometimes something from the Lord. On the other hand, when I have rushed in to speak, it has usually been unhelpful at best, and harmful at worst. Oh may God give us restained lips!!
* Using words to beguile, control and manipulate a man can backfire on a woman because evil will eventually bring evil; what one sows one will ultimately reap; God will judge those who use their tongue wrongly. The Proverbs 7 woman may have ended up with a broken home; she certainly was not happy, and did not have a good marriage. (And she harmed the young man whom she seduced, and who know how many others.)
Pr. 11:17 and Pr. 21:23 come to my mind:
A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself. (Pr. 11:17)
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble. (Pr. 21:23)
At the end of the chapter (pp. 224-225) Mary makes the point that wrong speech only leads to trouble (Ps. 55:9-11). She quotes 1 Peter 3:10 to make the point that, if we want to enjoy life and see good days, we must work at restraining our words, “and at speaking with sincerity, clarity, and honesty.” Amen!
* I think that nagging, responding harshly, and talking too much/interrupting are chief areas where my speech needs improvement. I identified these by taking the “Conversation Peace” quiz, which also helped me to see that I need work on almost every area listed! Thank you, Lord,
for the conviction, and realization that I may not be as far along as I thought I was in the area of speech. Praise the Lord for showing me my weaknesses, so that He can heal them, and help me to walk in wholeness/purity of speech!
Blessings to you Mary and friends in Christ,
I am generally a quiet woman and get annoyed by talkative women. I have certainly been made aware that sin is not absent with many words (Proverbs 10:19), for myself and for others. Oh, if only we could all learn to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry (James 1:19)
I would say my main area that needs improvement is the area of responding in anger, towards my husband especially. It’s a growing process for me…I’m better than I was earlier in our marriage, but there is still much room for improvement. Books such as these are a huge help to me, being reminded again of what I need to do.