Whole Woman Day – Raleigh

Here’s an article written for the North Carolina Southern Baptist State Convention www.ncbaptist.org by Melissa Lilley, talking about the Whole Woman Day Conference I spoke at last weekend in Raleigh. (Go Cam Ward & the Hurricanes!!!!)

Whole Woman Day: Finding Strength in Weakness

By: Melissa Lilley

RALEIGH (BSCNC Communications) – One by one they come, some quick and others slow. At first everyone is quiet but then, a sniffle here and there turns into pockets of sobbing across the room. As she continues praying from the platform she seems to be choked up herself. Maybe it’s the sight of the women kneeling at the altar; some sit quietly by themselves and others hold hands with friends and pray. She finishes praying and as the band leads in a closing song, women are now smiling, lifting their hands in praise and some, with pained countenance, sing through the tears. Mary Kassian leaves the platform and immediately walks toward a woman standing in the first row. Kassian puts her arm on the woman’s shoulder and they bow their heads, with Kassian whispering what seems to be a prayer or encouraging words. They look up for just a minute and Kassian cups the woman’s face in her hands and looks her straight in the eye. The music is playing and women all around them are singing, but they keep praying and whispering and Kassian offers a tissue to wipe away the tears.

Sorrow is real and it slices to the core. Pain is real, and looking around the packed worship center at Providence Baptist Church during the close of the opening session for Whole Woman Day, it seems pain has invaded the lives of many. Sometimes people try to hide the pain and pretend everything is ok. But not on this night. The crowd of more than 600 believe 2 Cor. 12:12 when Jesus said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” These women know that only when they bring their suffering to the Lord and express their inadequacy to fix the hurt can they ever begin to truly experience peace.

Gaining strength from God during time of human weakness and struggle is the theme for this 21st Whole Woman Day event April 17-18, and everything about the opening session points to the greatness and beauty of God. Worship leaders Scott and Alisa Shaw (former Providence members now worshipping with Moses Lake Alliance Church in Washington) lead women in singing about the amazing love of Jesus, His power to save sinners and His beauty that is “brighter than the brightest star in heaven.”

Kassian’s message speaks about trading the things in life that bring panic for the ways of God that bring peace. With Mark 4:35 as her text, Kassian takes her audience back to a night years ago when a storm on the Sea of Galilee sent the disciples into pure panic. Waves slammed against their boat, the boat began filling with water and the disciples decided surely Jesus did not care for them. If he did, he would not sleeping during the storm. The disciples’ feared before Jesus calmed the storm, but they were “scared spitless” when they realized Jesus had power to calm the waves. “Peace is not dependent on circumstance, peace is dependent on a person,” Kassian says. “Take a look at Jesus and not at the storm.”

Kassian wants the women to get honest and own up to some convicting answers. “Have you ever thought God is not big enough?” she asks. Can it be that believers worry during the storm because they forget God is in the boat with them? “We question whether God is interested us,” Kassian says. Panic, the “symptom of a fractured spirit,” can only be “quieted by Jesus Christ.”

During sessions the next day, Kassian continues sharing truth from God’s Word about how to live in Christ during the darkest trials of life. The Saturday morning message is all about “living from the bottom of the barrel” and she uses the example of the poor widow in 1 Kings 17 who, having reached the last bit of flour and the last bit of oil, saw the Lord provide for her needs. “Perspective is often the first thing we lose when we hit the bottom of the barrel,” Kassian says, yet it is during these times when believers “truly experience the reality of God’s provision.”

“Before the widow got more she had to let go of what she had,” Kassian says. Quite simply, it’s an obedience issue. Do believers put God first during tough times and are they willing to forgive those who have hurt them; those who may even be the cause of their pain? Be the first to repent, Kassain urges the women. “Are you?” she asks. “I want to be the first one to run to the cross.”

When believers obey, when they let go of what they have, when they let go of the anger they harbor against someone else, God gives strength to persevere during weakness. “Just a little is enough to overcome the darkness,” Kassian says. “He will give you manna for the day.”

Kassian tells the story of Scottish minister Samuel Rutherford who lived during the 1600s. He watched his wife and two of his children die at an early age, he often battled physical ailments and was eventually banished from the church for preaching the Word of God. Still, he never turned from God. God “blew out the lamps of the temporal and opened his eyes to the eternal,” Kassian says. Though he lived much of his life in the pit, his first response was to worship - ”worship is the first response when godly people suffer,” Kassian says.

Gail Shen, a first time participant in Whole Woman Day, couldn’t shake this particular nugget of truth from Kassian. Shen says too often worship is not her first response in tough times. “Be the first to the cross – a lot of times that’s not the first place I run to,” she says.  “I try to do it on my own.” Shen, a school teacher in her mid-20s, is grateful for Kassian’s honesty, for her willingness to not only share from her heart, but ability to look back on past experiences and laugh.

Kassian certainly has a knack for delivering admonition and encouragement at the same time. She doesn’t let the women off the hook – she knows life can be hard but that does not excuse a heart of misplaced trust and priorities. Her enthusiasm for her topic is undeniable. She has the appearance of a woman who is strong and confident because “though she has walked with God a long time” has had many storms and learned from them. She talks about family struggles and illness, raising three boys and traveling to hockey games. Her wit and humor keep the mood light. Kassian is the kind of woman many desire in a friend.

Having someone like Kassian share truth from God’s Word, and fellowship with so many godly women, is why Kathy Chiulli has attended Whole Woman Day for nearly 18 years. Though Chiulli has a child leaving soon for graduate school and recently had two family members die, she was reminded this weekend that women can “live above our circumstances” and “inner contentment” comes in knowing Jesus Christ. “I’m the planner,” she says, but Kassian’s messages reminded Chiulli to “trust God one day at a time.” This year is special because this is the first year Chiulli’s daughter attended Whole Woman Day and having her experience the weekend is, for Chiulli, “the greatest thing.”

Whole Woman Day began at Providence Baptist Church more than 20 years ago and until last year was an annual event. The event is now held every other year and includes worship, general sessions and seminars on topics such as strengthening marriage, mentoring, discerning God’s will and living with purpose. Karen Reimer, Women’s Ministry Director at Providence, said the weekend is something the church does to “serve other churches and other believers in the area. It is a joy to see how God uses women in our church to use their gifts for His glory.”