Beauty at Any Cost
The desire to be beautiful is an ageless longing… We desire to possess a beauty that is worth pursuing, worth fighting for, a beauty that is core to who we truly are. We want beauty that can be seen; beauty that can be felt; beauty that affects others…
—Stasi Eldredge
Today’s women are pursuing beauty at any cost. That’s the conclusion of a YWCA report on the consequences of America’s beauty obsession on women and girls. The report notes that American women now spend some $7 billion a year, or an average of about $100 per woman per month, on cosmetics and beauty products. Over five years, that adds up to a full year of tuition and fees at a public college. If a woman were to cut back the amount she spent on beauty products by half, and invest it into her retirement account for 10 years, she would save almost $10,000. And the money spent on cosmetic products per annum doesn’t even factor in cosmetic surgical procedures, of which there are over 10 million a year. The economics of the never-ending treadmill pursuit of beauty are staggering.
The health implications are also substantial. Over half of teenage girls use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives. More than 80% of women overall are reported to be dissatisfied with their appearance, and almost 70% report that they are trying to lose weight. Research links a focus on physical and/or sexual attractiveness with three of the most common mental health problems of girls and women: eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depressed mood/depression.
The Beauty at Any Cost report notes that women’s interpersonal relationships are also being damaged by this relentless pursuit. Women are taught from a very young age to focus on physical and sexual attractiveness. So interpersonal problems based on issues of physical attributes and social status start young. The use of aggression and bullying has been on the rise, and “mean girls,” -those who display “relational aggression”- grow into adult women who exhibit the same behavior. These women are driven by the unhealthy belief that winning the “looks competition” will somehow get them the man, the career, or the self they desire.
The desire of women to look beautiful is not new. But according to YWCA Chief Executive, Dr. Lorraine Cole, what is new is the unrealistic standard of physical beauty which is relentlessly pushed on females, and the sheer extent to which women and girls are now willing to go to achieve this goal. She laments, “From new levels of spending on cosmetic alteration to health risks and to the emergence of a ‘mean girls’ culture, the lifelong burden of an unattainable beauty and body image is taking a terrible toll in all areas of women’s lives, from economic well-being to health to interpersonal relationships.”
What should we make of this obsessive desire of women to be beautiful? Is the pursuit of beauty wrong? I’m going to answer in a way that may surprise you: First, I would argue that the pursuit of beauty is good and right, and an integral part of our wiring, as women. It’s the way God made us. Second, I would contend that the problem is not that we pursue beauty too much, but that we don’t pursue it nearly enough.
When we consider the jaw-dropping picture painted by Scripture, it would seem that our Lord finds our desire for beauty not too strong, but too weak. We try to doll ourselves up with the earthly and the superficial and temporal, while the supernatural and eternal is offered us. “Like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased!” (to cite a favorite C.S. Lewis analogy).
It reminds me of the story that Jesus told about the pearl of great price. When a man discovered it in a field, he sold everything he had to purchase that field. When the pearl of great price caught his eye, all his other treasures seemed worthless in comparison. He joyfully gave them up to get the treasure whose beauty and value surpassed them all. But here’s the thing. Had he not caught a glimpse of the surpassing beauty of the pearl, he wouldn’t have been willing to part with his meager possessions. He couldn’t give up what was lesser until he caught sight of the greater. The reason women are so obsessed with cosmetics, creams, diets and tummy tucks, is that their hearts haven’t been gripped by a more compelling, more beautiful vision.
True womanhood-the womanhood of the Bible-is spectacularly beautiful; more beautiful than any perfectly proportioned airbrushed model in any fashion magazine. How do I know? Because it reflects the glory of God and the glory of the Gospel of Jesus Christ- and there’s nothing more beautiful than that. True womanhood, and what it represents, is so beautiful that the King of the Universe is enthralled by it (Psalm 45:11) and angels stare -amazed (1 Peter 1:12).
The Bible’s stunning vision of womanhood ought to captivate the heart of God’s daughters more than the glossy pages of the latest grocery store magazine. I hope that it attracts us so much, that we turn our attention from the earthly and superficial, and begin to pursue beauty – true beauty – at any cost.
© Mary A. Kassian
Permissions: You are permitted to reproduce this material on your blog or website given that you do not alter the wording in any way and that you provide the appropriate credit and a link to this website. Any printed copy or exceptions to the above must be approved by Girls Gone Wise.
Please include the following statement on any internet copy: © Mary A. Kassian, Girls Gone Wise. Visit Mary’s Website at: GirlsGoneWise.com
Category: Blog, I Am Woman
I like this take on beauty! Why do I spend so much time on the temporary, but not on the permanent?
Helo,
I would quote 1 Peter 1 (NIV) for the part in which “angels stare to woman’s beauty”:
10Concerning this salvation, the prophets, who spoke of the grace that was to come to you, searched intently and with the greatest care, 11trying to find out the time and circumstances to which the Spirit of Christ in them was pointing when he predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that would follow. 12It was revealed to them that they were not serving themselves but you, when they spoke of the things that have now been told you by those who have preached the gospel to you by the Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Even angels long to look into these things.
Please explain why do you think the text reffering to angels is talking about them looking at woman’s beauty.
Also, please explain the practical correlation between the beauty of the Gospel (universal for human beens) and the beauty of a christian woman.
The Christian character is universal, both for Christian man and christian woman, and has nothing to do with the specific particularities of masculinity of femininity.
Please be careful in teaching the Truth.
Actually, the beauty of the gospel is displayed very uniquely through masculinity and femininity. Men display it in a way that women cannot, and women display it in a way that men cannot. Throughout Scripture, we see the imagery of Christ as husband and the Church as his Bride. This imagery is very strong in the messianic Psalm 45 and crystal clear in Ephesians 5. Many other Scriptures speak to it as well. Male and female were created in the image of God, to reflect hidden realities about the inter-Trinitarian relationship and also to display the glory of the relationship between Christ and his Church. Men are to reflect the strength, love and self-sacrifice of Christ. Women are to reflect the character, responsiveness, grace and beauty of the Bride He redeemed. Each sex complements the other in terms of which part of the redemptive story they display. If you read through all my other posts, you’ll get more of a flavor for this.
The “beauty” the angels stared at in 1 Peter 1:12, is the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ – the Husband who died to redeem his Church Bride – she who He presents to Himself “in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish” (Eph. 5:27) The angels are amazed by the wonder of the gospel – Christ redeeming His Bride. It’s not the beauty of woman that they are amazed at, but the beauty of what she represents…the gospel story of Christ’s holy Bride. This is the beauty that, in Psalm 45, captivates the King.
There is a “beauty” that woman expresses in a unique way. A couple chapters later, Peter explains that this beauty is “the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” (1 Peter 3:4) It was a beauty that Sarah (as a woman) displayed in a way that Abraham (as a man) could not. It is the beauty of Christ’s Bride.
Certainly, in relationship to Christ, men are also the “Bride.” But in terms of earthly male-female relationships, men model the Christ-Groom while women model the Church-Bride. That’s the unique challenge, joy, and beauty of womanhood.
I hope this helps answer your question.
[...] 15, 2009 in Worldview | Tags: Beauty, Girls Gone Wise, womanhood There is a very interesting article on the blog Girls Gone Wise. It discusses the idea of beauty in contrast the Biblical view of [...]
I agree with what you’re saying, Mary. I would also like to add my opinion that we need to be good stewards of the body God’s given us. That means keeping it healthy with regular exercise, being careful about how much junk food, sugar, and alcohol we feed it, and seeking medical help if we realize we have a problem. That doesn’t mean we should be excessively concerned about exercise, diet, or medical health, it just means we should treat our bodies as a wonderful gift from God that should be used wisely. That way we can be healthy and strong to do the work that God has called us to do.
It makes me sad to see young girls trying to be thin or “perfect”. They already are, because God made them exactly as He wanted them to be. I too struggled with body image issues as a young woman, but I wised up. Now I’m a middle-aged woman with my share of flab, wrinkles and gray hair, but I accept these things as a natural part of aging and work on keeping my muscles hard and my immune system strong so that I can look after my family and work hard to the glory of God. I hope my daughters will follow suit.
Definitely. There’s always two sides to consider. We are not to be distracted by issues of physical beauty and health, but we aren’t to neglect them either. Women who neglect their appearance and health are off base on the other end of the scale.
Actually, it is clear that the Gospel involves the same things for all born-again humans and has nothing to do with masculinity or femininity – see Galatians 3:26-29 – in terms of repentance, renewing the mind, transforming the heart and character etc. etc etc
GAL 3: 26 You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, 27for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. 28There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise”
To say that the same Truth affects or it is manifested differently from man to woman is to make the Gospel relative, subjective to specific traits of personality (like womanhood or manhood) and that is HERESY!
The only clear passage making a comparison between human marriage and the relationship between Christ and Church is in Eph 5. And the comparison is only in terms of loving leadership and submission:
22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31″For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
As you can see, the relationship between Christ and the Church is a MYSTERY, so the comparison with the human marriage is only in terms of sacrificial loving leadership and submission – a question of authority within the relationship, not a question of particular traits of man or woman like you said – quotation: “Men are to reflect the strength, love and self-sacrifice of Christ. Women are to reflect the character, responsiveness, grace and beauty of the Bride He redeemed. Each sex complements the other in terms of which part of the redemptive story they display.â€
Both man and woman, if born-again Christian, reflect the strength of Christ (in suffering or trial etc), the self-sacrificial love of Christ to other people, the character of Christ, the responsiveness to God’s guiding, the grace of forgiving the people that hurt them, the beauty of a Crist-like character. In marriage, both husband and wife manifest the strength of Christ, the self-sacrificial love of Christ for one another, the character of Christ, the responsiveness to God’s leading, the grace of forgiving each other. The only major difference is the authority relationship: the man is the head (as the Christ is the head of the church) and the wife is under his authority. A born-again Christian doesn’t display only a “part†of the Gospel, for if that were true, he wouldn’t be “complete†(especially if not married).
These days, many Christians try to explain things such as biblical masculinity or femininity and other “personality traits†of “psychological things†through Scripture, but let’s stay to biblical message and not use the biblical text to say what we want it to say!
Gender imagery (Christ as husband/Church as Bride) is interwoven throughout the whole of Scripture. Genesis, Psalm 45, Jeremiah 2:2; Ezekiel 16; Hosea 2:16, 19-20;Isaiah 62:4; Mark 2:19;2; Luke 5:34 John 3:29;2 Corinthians 11:2-3; Revelation 19:6-9; 21:2; 9-11; 22:17, etc.
Galatians 3:28 has to do with who can become a Christian and on what basis, and not with the obliteration of gender roles or nationality. With regards to salvation, there is no difference between male and female or Jew or Greek. But that doesn’t mean we become gender-neutral beings, or that we lose our national heritage.
You are correct to say that male and female do not individually display only a “part” of the gospel, if you think “part” means an incomplete part. It might help you to think of the word “angle” instead of “part.” Woman displays the gospel from a different angle than man. Neither are incomplete. But they do display it from different vantage points. A female displays it in a way a male cannot, and a male displays it in a way a female cannot.
The greek word for “Mystery” in Ephesians 5 refers to something that had previously been hidden or obscured… The mystery was revealed when Christ Jesus came as husband to redeem his Bride.
You are correct when you point out that women are also to emulate Christ. This is indeed clear in Scripture. One could also point out that men are also to emulate “Bride” because they are a part of the Church. But manhood and womanhood DOES make a difference in this regard. It is not inconsequential. By virtue of gender, woman displays the characteristics of (Church) BRIDE in a way than a man cannot, and man displays the characteristics of (Christ) HUSBAND in a way that woman cannot.
Ultimately, both are to the glory of Jesus Christ.
Thank you for clarifying some points.
Yes, you are right, we don’t lose national identity or gendre. But these characteristics are not relevant to any Christian life aspect, because it’s all about the Christ-likeness and Christian CHARACTER, it has nothing to do with personality traits (coleric, etc – type of persoanlity), color of hair, muscles, long dresses or pants, emotional sensibility (for woman). These characteristic do differentiate us from one another, but this is not essential in Christian life. I hope you understand what I mean.
REgarding the biblical texts, again, look in the Bible – in Isaiah is specifically called the “Bride” ISRAEL – the chosen God’s people and not the Bride as the Church. And there is displayed another aspect of the relationship God-man: the faithfulness and love of God as Groom, and the wickedeness and adultery of the woman as rebellious people. This has nothing to do with the question of authority (love and submission) from Ephes 5, where it is written Christ and the church. The comparisons of human marriage and God-Church DO NOT explain different characteristics, but show the character of God (His holiness, his faithfulness, His love, the characteristics of humans, the way they should act as imitators of God – “be holly as your Father is holly) – again, this has nothing to do with the “angle” which is relative, but to the absolute = the Christian character as Christ-likeness and the Christian conduct in human relationships.
I would try to concentrate on the Character of man and woman, as Christ-likeness, and not on particular physical, biological, emotional etc characteristics which are EVIDENT, but will be removed in the Kingdom of God. And true beauty (for a woman) or real strength (for a man) is the one of the heart, of the character, in Christ-likeness.
Please post my latest comment on Character!
[...] You can find the rest of the post here. [...]
Here is a comment from someone who has just finished reading Stasi Eldredge’s book Intimacy. It helps me to understand what drives and motivates women more deeply.
My question is this – Stasi points to the Bible and to nature to understand more of God’s romantic heart and she has many quotes and examples, and also from popular culture eg films and songs she has watched with a message akin to hers. Is there also anything that can be found in the insights of the “romantic poets” (Keats, Wordsworth, Shelley, Coleridge) that link in with the message that is helpful to meditate on. For example I think of the quote:
“Beauty is truth and truth beauty”
which I found coming to mind as I read the book. Is there a really deep link that Keats hit upon in the light of what Stasi has to say?
I strongly believe that “Once you throw your heart over the fence, the rest will follow” and if an individual puts all his soul, mind and body and focuses entirely on CHRIST and the Church, the rest will follow: Abundent LOVE, A PEACEFUL MIND, and ENDLESS FAITH IN CHRIST will bringout the beauty within like a waterfall pours forth into a river. GOD IS LOVE AND LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL. If one accepts CHRIST as the most beautiful, unstained soul that has ever walked on this planet, than one has all it to be beautiful: the best cosmetic/diet ever………The Holy Bible (GOD’s Word/the Head/Husband and the CHURCH(the submissive BRIDE to GOD’s/Husband’s word). If one becomes one in CHIRST upon the union of Marriage….than we can become as beautiful and loving (in all aspects) as CHRIST.
I think you have some great points but too selective of critisism and comments. I dont appreciated that you pick and choose which comments to post when a comment is directly related to the topic and 100% in agreement with GOD’s word but posted by someone other than a Christian. Dont you believe that Catholics are the originators of Christianity. What’s in a name or a title was my test yersterday for your posting……….I guess I chose the wrong name
I’m not sure what you are talking about. Your comment was posted here: http://www.girlsgonewise.com/archives/709?wpc=2#comments
Perhaps you didn’t notice that the comments are grouped on pages. You need to click through the pages to view all the comments. Also, all comments are held for review before posting, to ensure that obscenities and profanities and links to objectionable sites are not posted on this site. We have had problems with spammers trying to do so. Since I don’t have the staff to constantly monitor comments, it sometimes takes a few hours (and up to 24 hours) for a comment to be posted.