June Cleaver was presented as a flawless housewife cheerfully running a home: baking cookies, stuffing celery with peanut butter, vacuuming in high heels, preparing meals, greeting her husband with a kiss when he arrived home from work, and tucking in her two adorable sons at night.  June was kind, gentle, loving, and ever-patient. She was known for her signature line, “Ward, I’m very worried about the Beaver,” whenever her younger son got into trouble or seemed despondent. June’s life revolved around her family. Though college educated and capable of a career, she was happy and content in her role as a wife and stay-at-home mom. And therein lay the rub.

In the early sixties, a landmark book, “The Feminine Mystique,” burst onto the scene. It claimed that women were NOT happy as housewives—at least they shouldn’t be happy in that role!  Those women who were content as wives and moms simply hadn’t had their eyes opened to the extent of their oppression. Men had duped them to believe that a June Cleaver-type of existence was worthwhile and satisfying, when, in fact, such a role was subservient, and demeaning. As this feminist message spread, women in the sixties and seventies began to vilify Billingsley’s June Cleaver ideal.

Fast-forward the tape fifty years. A whole generation has had its consciousness raised to believe the idea that homemaking and caring for family is demeaning to women. The June Cleaver “Leave it to Beaver” ideal for womanhood has been replaced with a Carrie Bradshaw “Sex & the City” one. We’ve denigrated the value of marriage, children, home, self-sacrifice, and morality, and elevated the value of independence, career, self-indulgence, and sexual freedom. And our marriages and families have suffered as a result.

Today’s women have realized the feminist dream of being freed from the June Cleaver feminine mystique. But studies indicate that they are more miserable than ever before.

So what are we to do?  Should we start playing “Leave it to Beaver” re-runs and tell women they’d be happy if they followed June Cleaver’s example? Should we encourage them to start wearing high heels and pearls while vacuuming?  Should we run advertising campaigns that glorify the value of ironing, or disparage women who can’t bake cookies from scratch?

Some people romanticize the fifties, and believe that women would be happy if they squeezed themselves back into that mold. But woman’s happiness does not come from checking off all the boxes on someone’s “perfect woman” list. According to the Bible, happiness flows out of a right relationship with Jesus Christ. Until the spiritual aspect of a woman’s life is in order, her happiness will remain an elusive goal.

That said, the folks in the fifties did get some things right. They placed a high value on character, marriage, children, and morality. They recognized that God created men and women with differences that, when honored, contribute to the well-being and stability of the home. Though not the ultimate foundation of happiness, every woman knows that when her marriage, children, home and relationships are doing well, she feels a whole lot happier than when they are not.

Barbara Billingsley said in 2000, during an interview for the Archive of American Television. “June was a loving, happy stay-at-home mom, which I think is great.” Asked to compare real-life families to TV families, she responded, “I just wish that we could have more families like those. Family is so important, and I just don’t think we have enough people staying home with their babies and their children.” She maintained that “women who stay at home to care for their children may find in it the best — and most important — job they’ll ever have.”

Whether a woman ought to pursue an education, career, or have a job outside of the home is not at question here. The question in my mind is, “Do we as a society believe that family is so important that we uphold caring for home and children as the best and most important job a woman might ever have?”

Let’s just hope that this quintessential June Cleaver-ish idea hasn’t died along with Barbara Billingsley.

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1. Read the fifth point of contrast between a Wild and a Wise Thing (Pages 71-82)
2. Download and complete the Chapter Questions for Personal Reflection
3. Post your comments on the Blog

• Why is it important to attend to your private world first?
• Do you agree that God created women with a unique bent for the home? Why or why not?
• Why do you think culture devalues the importance of a woman’s unique connection to the home?
• What important habits and disciplines does a wise woman incorporate into her life?
• What areas of your private life do you have a tendency to neglect?  Can you share any ideas or suggestions for habits that have worked for you?

Related posts:

1. Book Blog 2: Deadened by the Drip
2. Book Blog 3: Are you a Wily Coyote?
3. Book Blog 1: Have you been swept off your feet?

“And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.” (Matthew 10:42)

So for all you moms whose days are filled with what the world classifies as meaningless and mundane… and for all of you who think you are doing “nothing” to further the Kingdom, take heart. In God’s economy, everything that’s done out of obedience to Christ – even if it’s a simple as giving someone a cup of cold water – is significant. A lifetime of humble service leaves a lasting legacy of love.

Enjoy the poem. And make sure to keep your eyes, ears, and heart open today, so you can joyfully say “yes” to the job God has for you.

A Special Job for Me

There is a special place in life,
That needs my humble skill,
A certain Job I’m meant to do,
Which no one else can fulfill.

The time will be demanding,
And the pay is not too good
And yet I wouldn’t change it
for a moment — even if I could.

There is a special place in life,
A Goal I must attain,
A dream that I must follow,
Because I won’t be back again.
There is a mark that I must leave,
However small it seems to be,
A legacy of love for those
Who follow after me.

There is a special place in life,
That only I may share,
A little path that bears my name,
Awaiting me somewhere.
There is a hand that I must hold,
A word that I must say,
A smile that I must give,
For there are tears to blow away.

There is a special place in life
That I was meant to fill,
A sunny spot where flowers grow,
Upon a windy hill.
There’s always a tomorrow and the best is yet to be,
And somewhere in this world,
I know there is a place for me!

-Unknown

© Mary A. Kassian

Permissions: You are permitted to reproduce this material on your blog or website given that you do not alter the wording in any way and that you provide the appropriate credit and a link to this website. Any printed copy or exceptions to the above must be approved by Girls Gone Wise.

Please include the following statement on any internet copy: © Mary A. Kassian, Girls Gone Wise. Visit Mary’s Website at: GirlsGoneWise.com

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In the course of her study, Oakly discovered many contradicitons between women’s analyses of their “jobs” as housewives and their reported satisfacion with the role. In spite of their admission of the the repetitive monotonous nature of their tasks, and in spite of conceding that they didn’t really enjoy doing them, Oakly found that many women were still committed to the role of housewife. In fact, many defended the role and claimed to enjoy being a housewife, even though they didn’t really like the tasks associated with it. Oakley concluded that housewives had been socialized into accepting an otherwise unacceptable, oppressive job.

Oakley sought to prove statistically that the role of housewife – which involved housework and caring for children – was exploitive and oppressed women. Oakley argued that partriarchal men had forced women into this oppressed role and had kept them there by covertly convincing them that they were satisfied. Oakley concluded that women needed to be educated about how bitter and demeaning housework and caring for children really was, and to be convinced to reject this traditional woman’s role.

Oakley’s analysis, and the subsequent writings of other feminists, such as American Pat Mainardi (The Politics of Housework), caused a shift in woman’s attitudes toward the role of housewife. Instead of being valued for its contribution to the nurturing and well-being of family, housework was demeaned for for its “degradation” of women. Due to the influence of feminism over the last few decades, a woman who is “just a housewife” has been taught to hang her head in shame.

Pat Ennis is a professor and establishing chairperson of the Department of Home Economics-Family and Consumer Sciences, at The Master’s College in Santa Clarita, California, where she has served since 1987.  She is embarking on a new study of housework, addressing the topic from a Christian perspective.

Ennis is a speaker, co-author of Becoming a Woman Who Pleases God, Designing a Lifestyle that Pleases God, and Practicing Hospitality, the Joy of Serving Others, contributing author to Think Biblically, Recovering a Christian Worldview, and author of Precious in His Sight, the Fine Art of Becoming a Godly Woman. She says, “Since there is a lack of current research addressing this topic by Christians I am conducting a study to discern the perception of Christians about the life skills commonly associated with the management of the home.”

Would you like to be part of this study? You can complete her questionnaire online:

Online Housework Survey

Cheryl Mendelson’s “Home Comforts,” a book on household arts, enjoyed a warm reception from the reading public a few years ago. In it she writes that housekeeping creates “cleanliness, order, regularity, [and] beauty” in our lives. It is true that not everyone will find chores so glamourous, but, Mendelson argues that contrary to feminist thought, a broom is not a tool of patriarchal oppression.

What do you think… Is housework demeaning to women? Is it “directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization?”  Or is it something that is worthwhile for the “cleanliness, order, regularity, [and] beauty” it creates in our lives?

© Mary A. Kassian

Permissions: You are permitted to reproduce this material on your blog or website given that you do not alter the wording in any way and that you provide the appropriate credit and a link to this website. Any printed copy or exceptions to the above must be approved by Girls Gone Wise.

Please include the following statement on any internet copy: © Mary A. Kassian, Girls Gone Wise. Visit Mary’s Website at: GirlsGoneWise.com

No related posts.