Jesus once chided his disciples for failing to look beyond the ordinary. “Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember?” (Mark 8:18)

It’s a good reminder to me, this Christmas season. The preparation, the decorations, the Christmas meal, the gifts, the family, the company, the singing, the tree, the candles –all these things have an extra-ordinary meaning for those who have eyes to see. The visible points to the invisible. The natural points to the supernatural. It all points to the jaw-dropping wonder of the gospel of Jesus Christ and his glorious kingdom.

Albert Einstein once said,

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is a good as dead: his eyes are closed.”

Are your eyes closed, or are they open?  Take a moment to pause, and wonder, and stand rapt in awe at the meaning of it all.

She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.
- Proverbs 31:14-15

The dining table was draped with a festive Christmas tablecloth, and set with fine china and crystal, but my kitchen was a wreck.

Potato peels were strewn all over the floor, the butternut squash puree decorated uncharted realms of my kitchen counters, and dirty dishes were piled precariously in the sink. I stood in the midst of it all in my stained sweatshirt, with partially applied make-up. With one eye on the clock, I was cleaning at a feverish pace. I had 30 minutes to go - those critical last moments when the kitchen slave heroically morphs into a gracious hostess.

That’s when the doorbell rang. Like a deer caught in the headlights, I surveyed my options. There was no way to pretend I was ready. “Who in the world shows up a half-hour early to a formal dinner?!” I complained aloud.

Opening the door, I saw two of my smiling guests, their breath evident in the chilly night air. Incredulous, I announced shrilly, “You’re early!”

Their eyes widened with surprise as their smiles shrank. “I’m sorry,” the man began abjectedly. “I, um, thought you said - or, um, I at least heard you say - that it started at six o’clock.”

“No, I said six-thirty!” I replied anxiously, before looking back to the living room. “I suppose you could come in now, but I’d probably put you to work first.”

“No, no - that’s okay,” he said quickly, backing down the sidewalk. “We’ll just drive around and come back in thirty minutes.”

When this couple returned (a safe forty minutes later!), they were greeted by a calm, smiling hostess in clean clothes and immediately ushered into a candlelit room to enjoy the fire by the twinkling Christmas tree. “I’m so sorry about my cranky kitchen maid - she was completely out of line,” I told them. “You just can’t get good help these days!”

Here’s the moral of the story: Don’t make your guests feel guilty when they show up at your door. It’s the opposite of hospitable. (But I bet you guessed that by now.)

If you’ve ever tried entertaining as a single woman, you’ve no doubt felt that same wave of panic moments before your guests arrive. I have yet to successfully balance mingling with my guests and getting a warm, edible meal on the table in a timely way. We often eat at the late hour that fashionable Europeans do. I keep fine-tuning the process, but there’s only so much advance prep I can do with the Bon Appetit recipes I love to cook. I’ll start the cleaning and prep even a day ahead, and still rush around at the last moment. Over the years, however, I’ve learned my priorities needed to be corrected. But when push comes to shove, we’re always better off to be gracious to the guests and cut corners on the food.

The Free-Range Gourmet

Proverbs 31:14-15 shows the effort that the virtuous woman makes to cook: “She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.” This wise woman ministers to many others from her home. She “is like the ships of the merchant” - ranging far and wide to obtain what she needs, but her focus is on her home and those who live and even serve there. It is a priority for her, so she rises while it is still dark to feed everyone.

Do you think “food from afar” is a pizza delivery? Do you ever range far and wide to find interesting items to cook - even for yourself? What does your kitchen pantry hold? A few cans of tuna and some cereal, perhaps? You may eat pre-packaged frozen meals when you are alone, but do you ever cook for others? If you were to get married in just a few months, would you have the skills to cook three meals a day every day for your family? Can you cook intuitively or do you have to rely on a recipe for most dishes?

In our microwave society, you can easily feed yourself without much effort. People eat in their cars and at their desks, but rarely at home. It’s not hard to find something to put down our throats as we run from event to event, but that’s not what we see in our wonderful role model. She’s not rummaging around the freezer looking for something to nuke and consume. She’s making an effort because the kitchen table is the heart of the home.

We shouldn’t wait until marriage is on the horizon to cultivate domesticity. In Titus 2:5, we find that older women are to train younger women to be “working at home.” This is one of Scripture’s commands to women. Period. Granted, this passage does assume that most women will be wives, but it also assumes that we need instruction to prepare for that role. We need training to love our husbands and love our children. We need to be taught how to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, and kind, as well as how to be submissive to our husbands. Single women are included in that training. We are to be trained in all aspects, even though we may not be called by God to fill those roles, immediately or ever. In that light, we’re no less exempt from the charge to be working at home than we are from the commands to be self-controlled, pure, or kind.

Home, Sweet Mission Field

Why does Scripture put this emphasis on the home for women? Why does the paragon of feminine virtue in Proverbs 31 invest so much of her time and resources into her home and its residents? Because our homes are a mission field. As Alexander Strauch, author of “The Hospitality Commands,” notes:

Lacking sacred temples or a special class of priests, the first-century Christians naturally made the home their base of operations. … Indeed, the first Christian congregations conducted all or most of their meetings in homes because they did not own buildings. This necessitated that some members of the congregation open their homes to provide places in which the church could meet. The home thus became a hub for evangelism and teaching. … For the early Christians, the home was the most natural setting for proclaiming Christ to their families, neighbors, and friends. The same is true today. If you and/or your local church are looking for ways to evangelize, opening your home is one of the best methods for reaching the lost. Most of us, however, are not using our homes as we should to reach our neighbors, friends, and relatives. Tragically, many of us don’t even know our neighbors. Yet through hospitality, we can meet our neighbors and be a lighthouse in spiritually dark neighborhoods.

In fact, our ministry through our homes is so important that women are included in all four of the major “hospitality commands” in the New Testament:

• Romans 12:13, written to all in the church at Rome, says: “Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”
• 1 Timothy 5:9-10 is specifically written about widows who seek the charitable support of the church: “Let a widow be enrolled if she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.”
• Hebrews 13:2 commands all believers, “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”
• 1 Peter 4:9 was written to persecuted Christians scattered throughout Asia Minor: “Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.”

Did you ever think of your home as an outpost for your church? You can use your home for a variety of ministry purposes - from inviting newcomers to lunch after the church service, to inviting your neighbors over for a Bible study, to celebrating milestones with your friends over dinner. Though it might be a little bit more work to do this as a single woman, it’s quite possible to do - and let’s not forget, it’s fun. There’s an immediate reward for hospitality in the relaxed smiles of our guests and their appreciation of our generosity.

People, Not Presentation

This Greek word in 1 Peter 4:9 for “hospitality” is philoxenos, which means “fond of guests.” Not fond of Martha Stewart ambition, a Town & Country room, or a gourmet meal. Fond of guests - even those who arrive a half-hour early! Though home design shows are everywhere on cable TV now, and our houses are getting bigger while the occupants are getting fewer, our culture is about entertainment, not hospitality. That’s why I selected the opening illustration that I did, and wrote: “If you’ve ever tried entertaining as a single woman, you’ve no doubt felt that same wave of panic moments before your guests arrive.” I suspect this is universal, but my anxiety is not due to my concern about the people coming. It’s because I’m worried about my presentation. I want the kitchen to be spotless, the candles to be lit, the flatware to be gleaming, the music to be inviting, and the aromas to be enticing. The reason I shooed my guests away that cold December evening was because I wasn’t ready for the inspection of my presentation. I was overcommitted because I wanted to impress them with an elaborate four-course meal from Bon Appetit. I wanted to entertain them, but I wasn’t acting like I was fond of them.

Cultivating a love for the home means acquiring practical skills and training so that you can intentionally make your home a mission field, not a museum nor a crash pad. If you’re single and live by yourself, this means all your ministry will be to those who live outside your house. If you’re single and have roommates, this means you minister to your roommates and to those outside your home. If you’re a parent, this means your mission field is first in your home to your children and then to those outside your home. It takes some effort and forethought to do this, especially if you’re only home a few hours out of every day. Romans 12:13 tells us to “seek to show hospitality.” The NIV translates it as “practice hospitality.” But the original Greek is better rendered “strive for” or “pursue” hospitality. Again, as the author of “The Hospitality Commands” writes:

Thus we are to actively pursue, promote, and aspire to hospitality. We are to think about it, plan for it, prepare for it, pray about it, and seek opportunities to do it. In short, the Romans 12 passage teaches that all Christians are to pursue the practice of hospitality. … Brothers and sisters, allow me to ask you the following questions. Do you eagerly pursue opportunities to practice hospitality, or is it something that you do only on holidays and during special events? Do you understand the important role that hospitality has within the Christian community? Do you see the relationship between brotherly love and hospitality? Beloved, only when we understand that the Spirit of God commands us to practice hospitality will we be adequately motivated to sacrificially open our homes to others.

If that sounds overwhelming, perhaps this little thought will encourage you: Some of the most hospitable women in Scripture were single. Consider the example of Martha and Mary. Their home in the modest village of Bethany was the site of several Bible accounts. We know of at least three occasions when Jesus visited their home - the famous account where Martha is frazzled, the time Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, and when He ate at their home just six days before His final Passover. As one commentator notes: “… after Jesus left His natural home at the age of thirty to enter upon His public ministry we do not read of Him returning to it for rest and relaxation. It was to the warm, hospitable home at Bethany to which He retired, for He loved the three who lived in it, Martha, Mary and Lazarus - in this order - which is something we do not read concerning His own brothers and sisters according to the flesh.” Another outstanding example was Lydia (Acts 16:14). She was the first European convert to Christianity, and her home was presumably the gateway to the rest of the continent.

With Just a Little Bit of Practice …

If you need encouragement to cultivate your domestic skills, let me assure you that I was no Bon Appetit afficionado in my early single years! I lived on happy hour appetizers and fast food. My cooking was so bad that my family called it “fish wads and pudding lumps” - a nickname earned after a spectacularly bad Mother’s Day meal. My apartment looked like New York City when the sanitation engineers go on strike. My home décor was early Goodwill with a touch of Target. No one around me ever talked about home and hearth, so I didn’t give my lack any particular thought.

When I became a Christian, I noticed how much effort the ladies I knew put into their homes. Candles in the bathrooms! Real linen napkins! Matching dinner dishes! I felt like an anthropologist in a foreign culture. But it inspired me to do the same. In short order, I was buying furniture and clipping recipes. After a few years, I was bold enough to even throw elegant dinner parties for my pastors and their wives, which I enjoyed doing immensely.

If you want to grow in your hospitality or domesticity skills, here are a number of practical issues you can consider:

• This is a great opportunity to pursue an “older woman” in the Titus 2 mentoring model. Consider the women around you. Whose homes do you enjoy visiting? Whose hospitality has blessed you? Ask these women to show you how they do it! Don’t be shy to ask for training. It’s honoring to these women that you want to emulate their examples.
• Start small. Have friends over for coffee or tea, and conversation. It’s not the meal you provide that makes a memory, it’s the focus on your guests. Sometimes it’s a lot easier to do that than when you don’t have an elaborate meal planned.
• If you’re not a great cook, practice.  I bet you’ll find many supportive friends who would willingly consume your practice! A great basic cookbook to have is “The Joy of Cooking.” It removes the mystery to cooking. I like “The New Basics Cookbook” for the same reason. It’s also fun to take cooking classes with your friends, especially classes about international cuisine.
• Don’t be afraid to select patterns for your daily dishes or fine china. It’s not a jinx! If the Lord gives you a husband, he might like what you already have. If not, you’ll have fun selecting a pattern together. I chose a china pattern years ago, and my friends generously gave me select pieces at various times. Now I have place settings for ten. People enjoy knowing what you collect.
• If you live with roommates, consider cooking for your household on a rotating basis. I have a set of friends who live in a townhouse they’ve nicknamed “The Abbey.” Each week, one of the ladies cooks for the rest. Though their different work schedules often prevent them from eating together, they’ve agreed to set aside Monday Family Nights as a household priority – a time when they eat together and catch up on the news of the week. They also regularly plan for hospitalities.
• If you live with your family, offer to be responsible for the family meals on certain days. My friend Mindy makes dinner once a week for her family – a blessing to her mother.
• If you’ve moved around a lot and feel like no place is home, consider buying a home. Again, it’s not a jinx! You can always sell it if you get married, and your profits will certainly bless your husband. Owning a home is usually a wise financial investment and it allows you to put down some roots and combat that lonely tumbleweed feeling. Often it is the only way you’ll be able to create a guest room, too.
• Create a memento of your guests. Some people use guest books; I take photographs. I have photo displays of most of the people who have been at my home. They are a useful diversion for my current guests when I’m caught in the kitchen!
• Let your pastors know that you are willing to host visitors. I know a single woman in Wales who has had numerous people from the States (and possibly other countries) in her home. Allyson cheerfully tours the same Welsh landmarks and tourist hotspots with most of her guests, cooks for them, and laughs lots with them. She seemingly knows everyone in my international church network because of her hospitality!
• Team up to pull off larger events. My former roommate and I used to trade off being the “kitchen slave” (our joking term) for each other’s dinner parties. Or share your resources. I once threw a formal New Year’s Eve party at one man’s house because it was large enough to accommodate everyone. He supplied the house and I supplied the party.
• Finally, don’t forget to show hospitality to those who cannot repay you, for in this way you will be emulating your Lord and following His command (Luke 14:12-14).

When I hosted that infamous Christmas dinner party, I invited three couples to thank them for their friendship and investment in my life. All three couples were members of my church, and greatly invested in the church’s ministry. Two of the men were my pastors. All three of the women were busy mothers with children ranging from pre-school to high school.  Each of them was notable for the amount of time and service they poured into other people. So I counted it a great privilege that I could invite them all over for an evening where they were served. If any thought it was odd to be invited to the home of a single woman, there was no evidence of it. All of them accepted eagerly, and remarked repeatedly that they had a great time. If any thought it was uncomfortable to seat seven people, and not an even six, at the table, they gave no indication of it. Instead, they each seemed delighted to receive hospitality - even when one couple encountered the “cranky kitchen maid”! What a joy it was to use my home to gather together these friends and co-laborers in the Kingdom for a holiday dinner.

Ladies, may we never fear odd numbers around our tables, for our Lord is always with us. And may He richly reward us as we “contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality” (Romans 12:13).

© Carolyn McCulley

Adapted from “Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred” by Carolyn McCulley.  © 2004 by Carolyn McCulley. Published by Crossway Books, Wheaton, Illinois.  Used by permission.

It appears Lydia was also a single woman, head of a household consisting mainly of servants. It was probably in her house that the first church in Philippi began to meet. Perhaps it was in her house that the church gathered to take up a collection to send Paul as he endured house arrest in Rome. Maybe they were there to hear the letter from Paul that contained his effusive thanks for their generosity, and wherein he shared his secret for being content in any and every circumstance. It’s hard to know what precisely happened in Lydia’s home, except for this fact — her first act of ministry as a believer was to offer her home and hospitality.

‘Keepers at home’

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children; To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” – Titus 2:3-5

It’s easy to understand the Titus 2 command to be “keepers at home” as focusing on the quality of home life in the context of marriage and family. But I don’t think Paul intended only for the married women to display the fruits of sound doctrine in their lives through being keepers of the home. The Greek word that Paul uses here is oikourgous, which is a compound word meaning “homeworker.” Paul is charging older women to teach younger women that among “good things” that keep God’s Word from being blasphemed is tending to the home. The implication is that there is valuable work to be done through and in the home. As Proverbs 14:1 emphasizes, wise women build their homes, but foolish ones tear theirs down. There is no qualification there regarding marital status. Women in all seasons of life can either be wise or foolish about the work that is done in their homes. Why? Home is where we care for those who live with us, and where we can reach out to care for the needs of others – the saints and the lost alike. As single women, we may or may not have people living with us to care for, but we typically have an abundance of opportunities to care for others in our homes in a way that promotes the glory of God.

What Would Martha Do?

In his letter to the Romans, Paul makes it clear that all believers are to invite others into their homes through the practice of hospitality (Romans 12:13). He also instructs Timothy that showing hospitality is one of the many good deeds that should characterize women who are the list of widows supported by the church (1 Timothy 5:10). Is Paul expecting that impoverished widows entertain lavishly? Of course not. I believe that our modern thinking of hospitality has been improperly shaped through entertainment mavens such as Martha Stewart. It’s not a matter of what would Martha do when guests come, but rather, what did Martha miss when guests were in her home? In this, I’m pitting our modern Martha against the Biblical Martha, but I think it’s safe to say both are better known for the tasks of entertaining, rather than the heart of hospitality. We’re not to open our homes to show off our possessions or culinary skills, but to draw others into what God is doing among His people.

Years ago, a love for the home and hospitality wouldn’t have been characteristic of me. I viewed my home as a crash pad for my possessions, a transitory abode until “something better” came along. My cooking was lovingly (and correctly!) mocked by my family as “fish wads and pudding lumps.” Though I made periodic attempts to pull off the lavish dinner party, I was usually wiped out by the effort. But when I became a Christian, I observed the way the women in my church invested in their homes and I allowed them to disciple me in these womanly ways. I began to balance the public and private spheres of my life by tending to my home. Now that I own a house, I’ve intentionally designed and furnished it for hospitality (even preparing for children who drop by). To my great delight, I’ve seen the Lord bless many ministry opportunities there. Though it takes a lot of effort to work all day as a single woman and then rush home to clean and cook for guests, it’s well worth it. In case I need a reminder, I’ve preserved those moments in a photo album of guests, along with the command from Romans 12:13 to practice hospitality.

As single women, Lydia’s example is a good one to emulate. She was obviously prepared to offer her home for hospitality, but probably never suspected that from her home an entire continent eventually would be affected by the Gospel.

© Carolyn McCulley

One area in where I have struggled is what femininity should look like for a single woman. Because the Lord made the woman to be a helper, the contours of biblical femininity are usually sculpted through relationships with others – as wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt. Though I am definitely a daughter, sister, and aunt, I am not (yet) a wife or mother. But I know that God created me female in his own image, and that he has given me this gift of singleness in this season of my life. These are not mutually exclusive concepts, but sometimes I still wrestle with how to express them both to the glory of God.

In late 1998, I moved to take a job as part of a church-planting ministry and to serve in a local church pastored by the pastor I met in South Africa, C.J. Mahaney. A year later, I attended a series of seminars on Titus 2 taught by his wife, Carolyn Mahaney. Through her teaching, I realized that of the seven qualities Paul urges Titus to have older women teach to younger women, only two are explicitly directed at married women and one to mothers. That leaves at least four for all women, married or single. Despite my marital status, I was to be self-controlled, pure, busy at home, and kind. That is a tall order no matter how you look at it, but it does not mean I can ignore the other three qualities. There are implications for single women in the commands to love husbands and children as well as for wives to be subject to their husbands. Based upon this passage, the following are some ways in which God has given me the grace to apply the Titus 2 virtues in my life and genuinely enjoy my femininity as a single woman.

“To love their husbands …”

Because of all the worldly junk I had imbibed on the topics of feminism and relationships, I initially read a number of books on Christian marriage. I have continued to read widely on Christian marriage, and where appropriate, I have attended seminars. I want to have a biblical view of marriage should the Lord bring that gift. But there is a practical application for my life now. I believe I can serve my married sisters best by shoring up their marriages. In our conversations and with my observations of their lives, I want to be able to help my married friends think biblically about their marriages and to think the best of their husbands. To unbelievers, I want to be prepared to explain the mystery of Christ and the church in the institution of marriage. While the world tells us we have no valid knowledge to share unless we have experienced a particular aspect of life, God’s Word equips us for wise discernment regardless of our experiences – or perhaps, in spite of them! Finally, should God bring the gift of marriage, I want to love my future husband now by developing a biblical perspective on love, marriage, and a wife’s role well before our wedding. I realize that the “wife of noble character” commended in Proverbs 31 brings her husband “good, not harm, ALL the days of her life” — days before and days after marriage. What I am sowing now in these days of my life is part of God’s design in blessing my husband – not to mention bringing glory to the Lord no matter my marital status.

“To love children …”

Whether or not we actually give birth, women are called to nurture the new life around us in various ways. Before I became a Christian, I was not very interested in children. I assumed I might have children one day, but I was oblivious to the children around me and did not care to spend any time with them. This is one area where God has made a tremendous change in my life. Over the years, I have had rich relationships with many children. The Lord has also given me evangelism opportunities with children. I have even created an informal Veggie Tales club with about a half dozen young boys in my neighborhood. They would stop by for sodas and videos, and I would share the gospel and pray with them.

Even though I do not have children of my own, I have three nieces and one nephew in whom to invest. It takes planning to be involved in their lives, but it is worth it to cultivate those relationships. Because I have vicariously experienced the thrills and sacrifices of motherhood as I have helped my sisters over the years, I have a window into that aspect of femininity. Just as importantly though, through these times together, I have developed one-on-one friendships with these small relatives of mine that I hope will flourish through the changing seasons of life ahead of us. I want to be a relevant relative of theirs, not a distant aunt. That means declining vacation opportunities with my friends to spend my vacation with my far-away nieces. That means declining social events on weekends to babysit my nearby niece and nephew or taking a day off during summer to plan a special day of adventure with them. But that also means I am the beneficiary of funny voicemail messages, elaborately drawn pictures, special “treasures” wrapped in thick layers of tissue and tape, and excited hugs when I arrive at their front doors. Somehow, it does not seem one bit like sacrifice. Perhaps these things contributed to a recent decision by one of my sisters and her husband to name me as guardian for their two daughters should they die in a mutual accident. Despite my being single, they thought I would rear their girls as close as possible to their values. Words cannot express how much that act of trust encouraged me!

“To be self-controlled …”

My greatest challenge to self-control as a single woman is in the area of speculation about men and marriage. I do not think I am alone in this. I know I am called to wait and trust, but it is so easy for me to do the opposite – to either attempt to manipulate circumstances in my favor or to complain when others are blessed in courtship or marriage. Over the years, the Lord has done much to kill the sin of self-pity in me regarding deferred hopes for marriage, and one fruit of that is that I now joyfully serve many couples as a wedding planner. But contentment can seem to come and go in my life like waves lapping the shore. Sometimes joy cascades over my soul like waves breaking on the beach. Other times joy seems to seep out of my life like the undertow of receding water. This is not the result of anything other than changing my focus: when the joy seems to be receding, I find myself critically regarding my circumstances rather than beholding the glory of God.

One specific way I do this is by “trying on” men in my mind. Judging from the conversations I have had with many single women, this is a common temptation. We tend to meet godly, attractive single men and immediately head down the path toward marriage, imagining what it would be like to court and wed this man. Having convinced ourselves that this is a possibility, we then read into his every move while hashing and re-hashing each scenario with the “girlfriend network.” A good friend of mine calls this “dating in my mind” – a priceless phrase! To exercise self-control in this area as single women is to put reasonable limits on the journaling and girlfriend conversations we have about our romantic interests. Talk has a way of making a desire an expectation, which eventually becomes a demand. In my life, I have found that I head into trouble when I record at length in my journal every interaction I have with a single man or when I am discussing this man with a broad range of friends. For me, self-control is to limit these detailed conversations to my accountability partners and to those over me in the Lord, such as my small group leader and his wife or my pastor and his wife. They know how I am weak, and they prayerfully encourage me to keep my focus where it belongs.

“To be busy at home …”

This one has been a challenge for me as a single woman since I work outside the home to support myself. I have to be intentional about scheduling time to actually be at home one or two evenings a week. That is hard in my busy church, but this Titus 2 virtue gives me a vision for the priority of it.

Then there are the domestic arts. In my twenties, I lived with piles of dirty clothes and newspapers. My house was the crash pad between outside engagements. I had no vision for domesticity. My family had a nickname for my cooking in this period: Fish wads and pudding lumps. However, after I saw a love for the home arts modeled by the women of the church, I desired to change. I practiced cooking, began hosting dinner parties, started buying home décor, and even picked out my own china pattern. That was actually a big step for me because it was hard to visit china departments without being forced to admit you don’t have a wedding date. Now God has blessed me with my own house, and I am so happy to nest there that I should check for twigs in my hair before I leave for work!

Though single women are not afforded the blessing of being busy with our families at home, we can be busy with kingdom business at home. Our homes provide places where we can pray with others, counsel others, evangelize others, and serve through hospitality. Romans 12:13 clearly says to practice hospitality – and praise God, this command does not differentiate between married and singles! No matter how our households are structured, our homes can be beacons of hope and hospitality in our neighborhoods. Just for this reason, I love to take pictures of those who have been in my home and display them with that Scripture from Romans.

The Freedom of Christ

Paul urged the Galatians to remember that “it is for freedom that Christ has set us free.” Prior to my conversion, I saw Christianity as being a burden, a confining religion with many rules and regulations. I was not equipped to see that my own sin was the greatest yoke of slavery. As we have all done since Adam and Eve, I blamed others for the oppression of sin in my life. I thought I needed to be set free from men who belittled women, from jobs that were “stuck” in the “pink ghetto” of women’s work, and from the “burdens” of traditional sexual morals. I could not see that my own self-righteousness, pride, anger, and willfulness caused greater damage to real joy than any perceived curtailment to my freedom.

When Christ ushered in his kingdom, he surprised everyone – including his own disciples – with the “opposite world” that he introduced. Everything was “backward” to the natural thinking of human beings. The greatest among us were servants. Our enemies were to be prayed for and even loved. What makes us unclean comes from inside of us, in our hearts, not from what we put on or in us. To have life everlasting, we must be born again.

It does not make sense on first reading, but the Bible promises us that God’s wisdom is foolishness to a perishing world (1 Corinthians 1:18-21). I am just most grateful that he liberated me from my futile thinking and the bondage of sin, and led me into the way everlasting.

Copyright Carolyn McCulley