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	<title>Girls Gone Wise &#187; Hospitality | Girls Gone Wise: Spiritual Smarts for Womanhood, Life &amp; Love</title>
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	<description>Spiritual Smarts for Life and Love</description>
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		<title>Let&#8217;s Talk Turkey</title>
		<link>http://www.girlsgonewise.com/lets-talk-turkey/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=lets-talk-turkey</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlsgonewise.com/lets-talk-turkey/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Nov 2011 21:02:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mary Kassian</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hospitality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stuffing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thanksgiving]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[turkey]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlsgonewise.com/?p=5317</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Get out your briners, injectors, basters, and butter! Mary gives her best turkey and dinner tips so you can add some flavor and zing to your Thanksgiving.
No related posts.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<div><a rel="attachment wp-att-5319" href="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/lets-talk-turkey/turkey2/"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-5319" title="Lets Talk Turkey Photo  | Girls Gone Wise" src="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Turkey2.jpg" alt="Lets Talk Turkey Photo | Girls Gone Wise" width="220" height="145" /></a>Let&#8217;s talk turkey! I cooked an amazing turkey for Canadian Thanksgiving a few weeks ago — the best I&#8217;ve ever cooked. (We do Thanksgiving in October.) But since many of you will be cooking turkeys this week, I thought we could all share our best turkey-cooking and Thanksgiving dinner tips.</div>
<div>Here are mine:</div>
<h3>1. Brine it:</h3>
<div><a rel="attachment wp-att-5320" href="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/lets-talk-turkey/turkey-brine/"><img class="alignright" title="Lets Talk Turkey Photo  | Girls Gone Wise" src="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/turkey-brine-100x100.jpg" alt="Lets Talk Turkey Photo | Girls Gone Wise" width="100" height="100" /></a></div>
<div>Let your turkey swim in a delightful pond of spices overnight to hydrate the meat and make it oh so juicy and tender. Here&#8217;s the <a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/turkey-brine/detail.aspx" target="_blank">Turkey Brine Recipe </a>I use from allrecipes.com. There there&#8217;s a good reason why it it&#8217;s been downloaded almost 30,000 times and has has over 500 rave reviews. If you like, you can throw in a bit more love by tossing a couple of bay leaves, crushed garlic cloves, and fresh rosemary sprigs into the mix.</div>
<h3>2. Inject it:</h3>
<div><a rel="attachment wp-att-5321" href="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/lets-talk-turkey/turkey-inject/"><img class="size-thumbnail wp-image-5321 alignright" title="Lets Talk Turkey Photo  | Girls Gone Wise" src="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Turkey-inject-100x75.jpg" alt="Lets Talk Turkey Photo | Girls Gone Wise" width="100" height="75" /></a>Inject your turkey with a combination of ½ cup melted butter, ½ tsp. garlic powder, 1 Tbsp. lemon juice, ½ tsp fine ground pepper and ½ tsp salt.  You’ll need a meat injector for this. Here are some more great <a href="http://bbq.about.com/cs/turkey/a/aa102602a.htm" target="_blank">Turkey Injection tips</a>.</div>
<h3>3. Fill it:</h3>
<div>Just before cooking, I fill the cavities of my turkey (the back end and front end cavities in the turkey carcass—NOT its teeth) with large wedges of apples, oranges, onions, and celery that have been sprinkled with a teaspoon or two of poultry seasoning. After the turkey is cooked, these make pretty additions to garnish your turkey plate. Again, you can throw in a bit more love, if you like, by tossing in a couple cloves of garlic.  I make my turkey stuffing a day ahead, and I don’t cook it in the bird.</div>
<div>
<h3>4. Baste it:</h3>
</div>
<ul>
<li>
<div>Preheat your oven to 325 degrees. Place the turkey breast up on a rack in a shallow pan.</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>Insert an oven-safe meat thermometer into the thickest part of the inner thigh just above but not touching the thigh bone.</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>Roast uncovered or loosely covered with foil.</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>Baste your turkey by collecting some drippings and pouring them back over the turkey. Once an hour is enough. Opening the oven will lengthen the cooking time.</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>Roast turkey for about 20 minutes per pound, until the meat thermometer reads 170ºF.  Remember that a brined turkey will take about 30 minutes less to cook.</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>Remove turkey when cooking is completed and let stand for 15 to 20 minutes before you carve it to allow the juices to settle.</div>
</li>
</ul>
<h3>5.  Amazing “Cheater” Stuffing:</h3>
<div>I mix my turkey stuffing the day ahead and leave it in the fridge in a casserole dish, ready to be popped into the oven.<br />
Here’s an amazing recipe for stuffing from allrecipes.com that I have used at Thanksgiving a couple of times. <a href="http://allrecipes.com/recipe/awesome-sausage-apple-and-cranberry-stuffing/detail.aspx" target="_blank">“Awesome Sausage, Apple and Cranberry Stuffing”<br />
</a></div>
<div>And here’s my cheater version: (it’s just as good, and a whole lot easier)</div>
<div>Use “Stove Top Stuffing” (Chicken or Turkey) – Get as many boxes as you’ll need<br />
Follow the preparation directions substituting chicken broth for water (add some more love by throwing in some extra butter)<br />
Add the following:</div>
<ul>
<li>
<div>Chopped Apples</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>Chopped Celery</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>Chopped Onion</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>Craisins (Dried Cranberries)</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>About ½ cup to 1 cup extra chicken broth.  Mixture should be thoroughly moist, but not soggy.</div>
</li>
</ul>
<div>Prepare the day before and store in fridge in casserole dish, ready for baking.</div>
<div><a rel="attachment wp-att-5328" href="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/lets-talk-turkey/holiday-turkey/"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-5328" title="Lets Talk Turkey Photo  | Girls Gone Wise" src="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Turkey3-220x150.jpg" alt="Lets Talk Turkey Photo | Girls Gone Wise" width="220" height="150" /></a></div>
<div>So there you have it!  Some of my own  Thanksgiving dinner tips. Now it&#8217;s your turn. Do you have any favorite recipes, turkey or dinner tips?  What do you do to make your thanksgiving special?</div>
<p>No related posts.</p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Teaching Young Women to be True Women</title>
		<link>http://www.girlsgonewise.com/teaching-young-women-to-be-true-women/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=teaching-young-women-to-be-true-women</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlsgonewise.com/teaching-young-women-to-be-true-women/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Oct 2010 17:44:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carolyn McCulley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Counter-Revolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hospitality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Teens]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[homemaking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[True Woman]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlsgonewise.com/?p=3405</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I left the Ft. Worth conference thinking about something Dannah Gresh said during our panel discussion. She encouraged us to begin teaching our girls at a young age—and not to wait to guide them in forming godly values.
Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/true-women-twoughts/' rel='bookmark' title='True Women Twoughts'>True Women Twoughts</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/true-woman-08-sold-out/' rel='bookmark' title='True Woman 08 – SOLD OUT'>True Woman 08 – SOLD OUT</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/true-woman-10/' rel='bookmark' title='True Woman ’10'>True Woman ’10</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://solofemininity.blogs.com/.a/6a00d8341c7a1453ef0133f52c91af970b-popup"><img class="alignright" title="Teaching Young Women to be True Women Photo  | Girls Gone Wise" src="http://solofemininity.blogs.com/.a/6a00d8341c7a1453ef0133f52c91af970b-320wi" alt="Teaching Young Women to be True Women Photo | Girls Gone Wise" width="320" height="212" /></a>by Carolyn McCulley</p>
<p>The  last of the True Woman conferences was held this past weekend in Ft.  Worth, TX. Tim Challies was among the blogging team there and he brought  his wife, Aileen, with him. It was a pleasure to meet Aileen after  reading about her for years! You can check out what Tim posted (<a href="http://www.challies.com/liveblogging/momentum" target="_blank">on momentum</a> and on the <a href="http://www.challies.com/liveblogging/what-makes-a-woman-a-true-woman" target="_blank">definition of a true woman</a>), as well as what others on the <a href="http://www.truewoman.com/?id=15" target="_blank">True Woman blogging team posted.</a> But even better: the True Woman team has <a href="http://www.truewoman.com/?id=1318" target="_blank">posted all the messages</a> from all three events online! You can even create a True Woman event for your own church or small group by downloading the <a href="http://www.truewoman.com/?id=1182" target="_blank">leader&#8217;s kit</a>.</p>
<p>I left the Ft. Worth conference thinking about something Dannah Gresh  said during our panel discussion. Dannah encouraged us to begin  teaching our girls at a young age about modestly, purity, and  serving—and not to wait until they are young teens to guide them in  forming godly values. She emphasized that the grade school to &#8216;tween  years are the prime time to shape the value systems of young girls. So I  decided to be intentional about discussing the True Woman event while  visiting afterward with my three nieces, who range from age 8 to 13.  (They get this perspective from their mother, too, but I wanted to add  my auntie input.)</p>
<p>With their mother&#8217;s permission, I introduced my seminar topic about  the challenges girls face in developing nations. I gave an overview of  the issues (skipping some of the more graphic problems), and then  focused on how some girls aren&#8217;t allowed to go to school for either  political or economic reasons. We then watched <a href="http://video.nytimes.com/video/2009/02/22/world/1194838044017/class-dismissed-in-swat-valley.html" target="_blank">a short video produced by the New York Times about girls in Swat Valley, Pakistan</a>,  who were banned from attending school by the Taliban. I prepared them  for the sobering images of Taliban justice, but I thought it was  important they understand how valuable their own education freedom is in  this nation. (During my seminar, I mentioned I had sent this link to  them, but they hadn&#8217;t had the opportunity to see it.)</p>
<p>Then we talked about why God wants women to manage their homes and  what kinds of ministry can take place in the home&#8211;and why that&#8217;s  important in light of eternity. I told them how you can go much deeper  in conversation in the privacy of your home, as opposed to being in  restaurants, and about how the Bible portrays the home as being a  discipleship center and mission field. We talked about all of that over a  home-cooked meal of beef brisket (a yummy pot-roast style recipe from  the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0894803417/carolynmccull-20" target="_blank">New Basics Cookbook</a>),  mashed potatoes with sauteed mushrooms, steamed garlic broccoli, and  pistachio pudding. The girls were all involved in creating the  meal&#8211;trying new recipes together is one of our traditions. Then the  next day, we invited a friend over for dinner and a home-cooked pumpkin  pie with spiced hot cider. As we prepared, we talked about how to create  ambiance and make a guest feel especially welcome.</p>
<p>I wasn&#8217;t sure how much was sinking in, but I discovered even my  youngest niece was listening closely. After church on Sunday, I took  them to Starbucks for more discussion time. As we sat down with our  drinks and muffins, I mentioned how fun it was to have this special girl  time together. Abigail shot me a knowing look and said, &#8220;But shouldn&#8217;t  we do this at home?&#8221;</p>
<p>Busted! But it was worth it to know they heard me.</p>
<p>Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/true-women-twoughts/' rel='bookmark' title='True Women Twoughts'>True Women Twoughts</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/true-woman-08-sold-out/' rel='bookmark' title='True Woman 08 – SOLD OUT'>True Woman 08 – SOLD OUT</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/true-woman-10/' rel='bookmark' title='True Woman ’10'>True Woman ’10</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>A Top-Secret-John-Piper-Family Recipe Just In Time For Christmas</title>
		<link>http://www.girlsgonewise.com/a-top-secret-john-piper-family-recipe-just-in-time-for-christmas/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=a-top-secret-john-piper-family-recipe-just-in-time-for-christmas</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlsgonewise.com/a-top-secret-john-piper-family-recipe-just-in-time-for-christmas/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 17 Dec 2009 13:00:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dannah Gresh</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hospitality]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlsgonewise.com/?p=1372</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[OK, I admit it I&#8217;m a John Piper groupie. Love everything he writes, says, thinks. Been like this since I discovered Desiring God. (Was it over a decade ago?) Two years ago, I met his wife Noel. We kinda had dinner. (Not name dropping. It&#8217;s true. One of the greatest honors of my life. I [...]
Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/time-to-grow/' rel='bookmark' title='Time to Grow!'>Time to Grow!</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/NPiper.jpg"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-1373" title="A Top Secret John Piper Family Recipe Just In Time For Christmas Photo  | Girls Gone Wise" src="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/NPiper.jpg" alt="A Top Secret John Piper Family Recipe Just In Time For Christmas Photo | Girls Gone Wise" width="220" height="220" /></a>OK, I admit it I&#8217;m a John Piper groupie. Love everything he writes, says, thinks. Been like this since I discovered Desiring God. (Was it over a decade ago?) Two years ago, I met his wife Noel. We kinda had dinner. (Not name dropping. It&#8217;s true. One of the greatest honors of my life. I was star struck!) John was keynoting the True Woman conference, and I was doing a workshop for teen girls. Stumbled into the speaker&#8217;s dining room at the right time and&#8230;dinner with the Pipers, including their amazing teen daughter Talitha!</p>
<p>Now, sit back and note this: Noel is the biggest secret in the Christian world. She&#8217;s amazing. (Sorry, Johnâ€”or Johnny as she calls you in my favorite book penned by her,â€”she might be even more exciting to me than you. At least, she&#8217;s more practical for this woman trying to be a great mom!) The book that I love is what is on my mind as I approach Christmas. It&#8217;s called Treasuring God in our Traditions. It has caused me to look at everything I doâ€”from unpacking the attic full of dusty boxes to mixing up another batch of Christmas Wreath Cookies to taking the much-too-long annual trek into the mountains to chop down a Christmas treeâ€”with new meaning. I had no idea the POWER that was in these things.</p>
<p>The book starts with she and John sitting at the kitchen table during their first visit to her future husband&#8217;s family.  &#8220;I lifted the fork for my initial taste of breakfast cake,&#8221; she writes. &#8220;&#8216;Wait.&#8221; Johnny stopped me. &#8216;This is the way we eat it.&#8217; He dunked his chunk of cake into a cup filled with milk. Then he raised it to his mouth and, with white drops rolling down his wrist, bit off a big soggy corner.&#8221; A while later, having mastered the art of the proper-Piper-breakfast-cake-eating-skills she asks &#8220;Ma Mohn&#8221; for the recipe. &#8220;&#8221;Recipe? You can watch and write it down.&#8217; So, I watched and wrote: &#8216;Four handfuls of flour, a walnut-sized lump of butter&#8230;&#8221; Thus began the Piper family tradition of Ma Piper&#8217;s breakfast cake for birthdays and holidays.</p>
<p>The book stays that yummy (and includes recipes like that famous breakfast cake), but what I really learned is that God treasures the traditions of my family. He was the author of traditions as we orchestrated them for his people throughout the Old Testament. He still invites us to His Table every so often for the sacred tradition of communion. Why? Because traditions are the equivalent of super-powered-family-glue. The keep us together and identify us as &#8220;belonging.&#8221; As I write this, I&#8217;m in the process of talking three teenagers into a day of Christmas-tree adventure. Didn&#8217;t take much. For all the times they beg me to be out of something so they can be with friends or just &#8220;veg&#8221;, they were up for this long day of trudging through the forest in the cold to carry a heavy tree with the promise of a mug of hot cocoa waiting at home. They&#8217;re willing to climb into the attic and pull out Douglas the Singing Fur, the  crumbling nativity set my mom bought the day I was born, and probably a dead mouse or two. It will be a day of hard work followed by my famous ham, green beans, and potatoes. As always, we&#8217;ll pick a Christmas classic to watch when we are exhausted. This year&#8217;s winning flick: Elf! This is our family glue. I&#8217;ve seen reports that family&#8217;s who have the simple &#8220;tradition&#8221; of eating together raise kids less likely to engage in sex, abuse drugs and alcohol and struggle academically. This stuff is important!</p>
<p>True confession: before Noel&#8217;s book, I grumbled a little about the dusty boxes. I pressed Bob to &#8220;just get a fake tree.&#8221; I didn&#8217;t understand why I had to mix up a batch of Christmas Wreath cookies once a week in December. (Wasn&#8217;t once enough?) What was I thinking? (Could someone remind me that at about 4:PM on Christmas Tree day when everyone else has commenced with the &#8220;tradition&#8221; of tuckering out while I finish? Ah, what would it be without that lull before the ham, green beans and potato feast?) Grab one Christmas gift for yourself this year: Noel Piper&#8217;s Treasuring God in Our Traditions, and start gluing your family together with new passion&#8230;and a freshly made batch of Ma Piper&#8217;s Breakfast Cake. After all, the recipe isn&#8217;t really made of flour and walnut-sized lumps of butter&#8230;it&#8217;s main ingredients are a good dose of family memories, a little bit of edible love, and a whopping dollop of family tradition!</p>
<address>Note: Second paragraph contains quotes from Treasuring God In Our Traditions by Noel Piper, page 1.</address>
<p style="text-align: center;">Â© Dannah Gresh</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img class="alignnone" src="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/images/divider.gif" alt="A Top Secret John Piper Family Recipe Just In Time For Christmas Photo | Girls Gone Wise" width="128" height="50" title="A Top Secret John Piper Family Recipe Just In Time For Christmas Photo  | Girls Gone Wise" /></p>
<p>Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/time-to-grow/' rel='bookmark' title='Time to Grow!'>Time to Grow!</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Home, Sweet Mission Field (for singles)</title>
		<link>http://www.girlsgonewise.com/home-sweet-mission-field-for-singles/?utm_source=rss&#038;utm_medium=rss&#038;utm_campaign=home-sweet-mission-field-for-singles</link>
		<comments>http://www.girlsgonewise.com/home-sweet-mission-field-for-singles/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 May 2009 13:09:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carolyn McCulley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hospitality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Make a Difference]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[1 Peter 4:9]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guests]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.girlsgonewise.com/?p=728</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you and/or your local church are looking for ways to evangelize, opening your home is one of the best methods for reaching the lost. Most of us, however, are not using our homes as we should to reach our neighbors, friends, and relatives. Tragically, many of us don't even know our neighbors. Yet through hospitality, we can meet our neighbors and be a lighthouse in spiritually dark neighborhoods.
Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/singular-hospitality/' rel='bookmark' title='Singular Hospitality'>Singular Hospitality</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/enlarging-your-tent-for-singles/' rel='bookmark' title='Enlarging Your Tent (for Singles)'>Enlarging Your Tent (for Singles)</a></li>
</ol>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p><em>She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.<br />
- Proverbs 31:14-15</em></p></blockquote>
<p>The dining table was draped with a festive Christmas tablecloth, and set with fine china and crystal, but my kitchen was a wreck.</p>
<p>Potato peels were strewn all over the floor, the butternut squash puree decorated uncharted realms of my kitchen counters, and dirty dishes were piled precariously in the sink. I stood in the midst of it all in my stained sweatshirt, with partially applied make-up. With one eye on the clock, I was cleaning at a feverish pace. I had 30 minutes to goÂ -Â those critical last moments when the kitchen slave heroically morphs into a gracious hostess.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s when the doorbell rang. Like a deer caught in the headlights, I surveyed my options. There was no way to pretend I was ready. &#8220;Who in the world shows up a half-hour early to a formal dinner?!&#8221; I complained aloud.</p>
<p>Opening the door, I saw two of my smiling guests, their breath evident in the chilly night air. Incredulous, I announced shrilly, &#8220;You&#8217;re <em>early</em>!&#8221;</p>
<p>Their eyes widened with surprise as their smiles shrank. &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry,&#8221; the man began abjectedly. &#8220;I, um, thought you saidÂ -Â or, um, I at least heard you sayÂ -Â that it started at six o&#8217;clock.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;No, I said six-<em>thirty</em>!&#8221; I replied anxiously, before looking back to the living room. &#8220;I suppose you could come in now, but I&#8217;d probably put you to work first.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;No, noÂ -Â that&#8217;s okay,&#8221; he said quickly, backing down the sidewalk. &#8220;We&#8217;ll just drive around and come back in thirty minutes.&#8221;</p>
<p>When this couple returned (a safe forty minutes later!), they were greeted by a calm, smiling hostess in clean clothes and immediately ushered into a candlelit room to enjoy the fire by the twinkling Christmas tree. &#8220;I&#8217;m so sorry about my cranky kitchen maidÂ -Â she was completely out of line,&#8221; I told them. &#8220;You just can&#8217;t get good help these days!&#8221;</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s the moral of the story: Don&#8217;t make your guests feel guilty when they show up at your door. It&#8217;s the opposite of hospitable. (But I bet you guessed that by now.)</p>
<p>If you&#8217;ve ever tried entertaining as a single woman, you&#8217;ve no doubt felt that same wave of panic moments before your guests arrive. I have yet to successfully balance mingling with my guests and getting a warm, edible meal on the table in a timely way. We often eat at the late hour that fashionable Europeans do. I keep fine-tuning the process, but there&#8217;s only so much advance prep I can do with the Bon Appetit recipes I love to cook. I&#8217;ll start the cleaning and prep even a day ahead, and still rush around at the last moment. Over the years, however, I&#8217;ve learned my priorities needed to be corrected. But when push comes to shove, we&#8217;re always better off to be gracious to the guests and cut corners on the food.</p>
<p><strong>The Free-Range Gourmet</strong></p>
<p>Proverbs 31:14-15 shows the effort that the virtuous woman makes to cook: &#8220;She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar. She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.&#8221; This wise woman ministers to many others from her home. She &#8220;is like the ships of the merchant&#8221;Â -Â ranging far and wide to obtain what she needs, but her focus is on her home and those who live and even serve there. It is a priority for her, so she rises while it is still dark to feed everyone.</p>
<p>Do you think &#8220;food from afar&#8221; is a pizza delivery? Do you ever range far and wide to find interesting items to cookÂ -Â even for yourself? What does your kitchen pantry hold? A few cans of tuna and some cereal, perhaps? You may eat pre-packaged frozen meals when you are alone, but do you ever cook for others? If you were to get married in just a few months, would you have the skills to cook three meals a day every day for your family? Can you cook intuitively or do you have to rely on a recipe for most dishes?</p>
<p>In our microwave society, you can easily feed yourself without much effort. People eat in their cars and at their desks, but rarely at home. It&#8217;s not hard to find something to put down our throats as we run from event to event, but that&#8217;s not what we see in our wonderful role model. She&#8217;s not rummaging around the freezer looking for something to nuke and consume. She&#8217;s making an effort because the kitchen table is the heart of the home.</p>
<p>We shouldn&#8217;t wait until marriage is on the horizon to cultivate domesticity. In Titus 2:5, we find that older women are to train younger women to be &#8220;working at home.&#8221; This is one of Scripture&#8217;s commands to women. Period. Granted, this passage does assume that most women will be wives, but it also assumes that we need instruction to prepare for that role. We need training to love our husbands and love our children. We need to be taught how to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, and kind, as well as how to be submissive to our husbands. Single women are included in that training. We are to be trained in all aspects, even though we may not be called by God to fill those roles, immediately or ever. In that light, we&#8217;re no less exempt from the charge to be working at home than we are from the commands to be self-controlled, pure, or kind.</p>
<p><strong>Home, Sweet Mission Field</strong></p>
<p>Why does Scripture put this emphasis on the home for women? Why does the paragon of feminine virtue in Proverbs 31 invest so much of her time and resources into her home and its residents? Because our homes are a mission field. As Alexander Strauch, author of &#8220;The Hospitality Commands,&#8221; notes:</p>
<p>Lacking sacred temples or a special class of priests, the first-century Christians naturally made the home their base of operations. &#8230; Indeed, the first Christian congregations conducted all or most of their meetings in homes because they did not own buildings. This necessitated that some members of the congregation open their homes to provide places in which the church could meet. The home thus became a hub for evangelism and teaching. &#8230; For the early Christians, the home was the most natural setting for proclaiming Christ to their families, neighbors, and friends. The same is true today. If you and/or your local church are looking for ways to evangelize, opening your home is one of the best methods for reaching the lost. Most of us, however, are not using our homes as we should to reach our neighbors, friends, and relatives. Tragically, many of us don&#8217;t even know our neighbors. Yet through hospitality, we can meet our neighbors and be a lighthouse in spiritually dark neighborhoods.</p>
<p>In fact, our ministry through our homes is so important that women are included in all four of the major &#8220;hospitality commands&#8221; in the New Testament:</p>
<ul>
<li>Romans 12:13, written to all in the church at Rome,      says: &#8220;Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show      hospitality.&#8221;</li>
<li>1 Timothy 5:9-10 is specifically written about widows      who seek the charitable support of the church: &#8220;Let a widow be enrolled if      she is not less than sixty years of age, having been the wife of one      husband, and having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up      children, has shown hospitality, has washed the feet of the saints, has      cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.&#8221;</li>
<li>Hebrews 13:2 commands all believers, &#8220;Do not neglect to      show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels      unawares.&#8221;</li>
<li>1 Peter 4:9 was written to persecuted Christians      scattered throughout Asia Minor: &#8220;Show hospitality to one another without      grumbling.&#8221;</li>
</ul>
<p>Did you ever think of your home as an outpost for your church? You can use your home for a variety of ministry purposesÂ -Â from inviting newcomers to lunch after the church service, to inviting your neighbors over for a Bible study, to celebrating milestones with your friends over dinner. Though it might be a little bit more work to do this as a single woman, it&#8217;s quite possible to doÂ -Â and let&#8217;s not forget, it&#8217;s fun. There&#8217;s an immediate reward for hospitality in the relaxed smiles of our guests and their appreciation of our generosity.</p>
<p><strong>People, Not Presentation</strong></p>
<p>This Greek word in 1 Peter 4:9 for &#8220;hospitality&#8221; is <em>philoxenos</em>, which means &#8220;fond of guests.&#8221; Not fond of Martha Stewart ambition, a Town &amp; Country room, or a gourmet meal. Fond of <em>guests</em> -Â even those who arrive a half-hour early! Though home design shows are everywhere on cable TV now, and our houses are getting bigger while the occupants are getting fewer, our culture is about <em>entertainment</em>, not hospitality. That&#8217;s why I selected the opening illustration that I did, and wrote: &#8220;If you&#8217;ve ever tried entertaining as a single woman, you&#8217;ve no doubt felt that same wave of panic moments before your guests arrive.&#8221; I suspect this is universal, but my anxiety is not due to my concern about the people coming. It&#8217;s because I&#8217;m worried about my <em>presentation</em>. I want the kitchen to be spotless, the candles to be lit, the flatware to be gleaming, the music to be inviting, and the aromas to be enticing. The reason I shooed my guests away that cold December evening was because I wasn&#8217;t ready for the <em>inspection of my presentation</em>. I was overcommitted because I wanted to impress them with an elaborate four-course meal from Bon Appetit. I wanted to entertain them, but I wasn&#8217;t acting like I was fond of them.</p>
<p>Cultivating a love for the home means acquiring practical skills and training so that you can intentionally make your home a mission field, not a museum nor a crash pad. If you&#8217;re single and live by yourself, this means all your ministry will be to those who live outside your house. If you&#8217;re single and have roommates, this means you minister to your roommates and to those outside your home. If you&#8217;re a parent, this means your mission field is first in your home to your children and then to those outside your home. It takes some effort and forethought to do this, especially if you&#8217;re only home a few hours out of every day. Romans 12:13 tells us to &#8220;seek to show hospitality.&#8221; The NIV translates it as &#8220;practice hospitality.&#8221; But the original Greek is better rendered &#8220;strive for&#8221; or &#8220;pursue&#8221; hospitality. Again, as the author of &#8220;The Hospitality Commands&#8221; writes:</p>
<p>Thus we are to actively pursue, promote, and aspire to hospitality. We are to think about it, plan for it, prepare for it, pray about it, and seek opportunities to do it. In short, the Romans 12 passage teaches that all Christians are to pursue the practice of hospitality. &#8230; Brothers and sisters, allow me to ask you the following questions. Do you eagerly pursue opportunities to practice hospitality, or is it something that you do only on holidays and during special events? Do you understand the important role that hospitality has within the Christian community? Do you see the relationship between brotherly love and hospitality? Beloved, only when we understand that the Spirit of God commands us to practice hospitality will we be adequately motivated to sacrificially open our homes to others.</p>
<p>If that sounds overwhelming, perhaps this little thought will encourage you: Some of the most hospitable women in Scripture were single. Consider the example of Martha and Mary. Their home in the modest village of Bethany was the site of several Bible accounts. We know of at least three occasions when Jesus visited their homeÂ -Â the famous account where Martha is frazzled, the time Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, and when He ate at their home just six days before His final Passover. As one commentator notes: &#8220;&#8230; after Jesus left His natural home at the age of thirty to enter upon His public ministry we do not read of Him returning to it for rest and relaxation. It was to the warm, hospitable home at Bethany to which He retired, for He loved the three who lived in it, Martha, Mary and LazarusÂ -Â in this orderÂ -Â which is something we do not read concerning His own brothers and sisters according to the flesh.&#8221; Another outstanding example was Lydia (Acts 16:14). She was the first European convert to Christianity, and her home was presumably the gateway to the rest of the continent.</p>
<p><strong>With Just a Little Bit of Practice &#8230;</strong></p>
<p>If you need encouragement to cultivate your domestic skills, let me assure you that I was no Bon Appetit afficionado in my early single years! I lived on happy hour appetizers and fast food. My cooking was so bad that my family called it &#8220;fish wads and pudding lumps&#8221;Â -Â a nickname earned after a spectacularly bad Mother&#8217;s Day meal. My apartment looked like New York City when the sanitation engineers go on strike. My home dÃ©cor was early Goodwill with a touch of Target. No one around me ever talked about home and hearth, so I didn&#8217;t give my lack any particular thought.</p>
<p>When I became a Christian, I noticed how much effort the ladies I knew put into their homes. <em>Candles in the bathrooms! Real linen napkins! Matching dinner dishes!</em> I felt like an anthropologist in a foreign culture. But it inspired me to do the same. In short order, I was buying furniture and clipping recipes. After a few years, I was bold enough to even throw elegant dinner parties for my pastors and their wives, which I enjoyed doing immensely.</p>
<p>If you want to grow in your hospitality or domesticity skills, here are a number of practical issues you can consider:</p>
<ul>
<li>This is a great opportunity to pursue an &#8220;older woman&#8221;      in the Titus 2 mentoring model. Consider the women around you. Whose homes      do you enjoy visiting? Whose hospitality has blessed you? Ask these women      to show you how they do it! Don&#8217;t be shy to ask for training. It&#8217;s      honoring to these women that you want to emulate their examples.</li>
<li>Start small. Have friends over for coffee or tea, and      conversation. It&#8217;s not the meal you provide that makes a memory, it&#8217;s the      focus on your guests. Sometimes it&#8217;s a lot easier to do that than when you      don&#8217;t have an elaborate meal planned.</li>
<li>If you&#8217;re not a great cook, practice.Â  I bet you&#8217;ll      find many supportive friends who would willingly consume your practice! A      great basic cookbook to have is &#8220;The Joy of Cooking.&#8221; It removes      the mystery to cooking. I like &#8220;The New Basics Cookbook&#8221; for the      same reason. It&#8217;s also fun to take cooking classes with your friends,      especially classes about international cuisine.</li>
<li>Don&#8217;t be afraid to select patterns for your daily      dishes or fine china. It&#8217;s not a jinx! If the Lord gives you a husband, he      might like what you already have. If not, you&#8217;ll have fun selecting a      pattern together. I chose a china pattern years ago, and my friends      generously gave me select pieces at various times. Now I have place      settings for ten. People enjoy knowing what you collect.</li>
<li>If you live with roommates, consider cooking for your      household on a rotating basis. I have a set of friends who live in a      townhouse they&#8217;ve nicknamed &#8220;The Abbey.&#8221; Each week, one of the ladies      cooks for the rest. Though their different work schedules often prevent      them from eating together, they&#8217;ve agreed to set aside Monday Family      Nights as a household priority &#8211; a time when they eat together and catch      up on the news of the week. They also regularly plan for hospitalities.</li>
<li>If you live with your family, offer to be responsible      for the family meals on certain days. My friend Mindy makes dinner once a      week for her family &#8211; a blessing to her mother.</li>
<li>If you&#8217;ve moved around a lot and feel like no place is      home, consider buying a home. Again, it&#8217;s not a jinx! You can always sell      it if you get married, and your profits will certainly bless your husband.      Owning a home is usually a wise financial investment and it allows you to      put down some roots and combat that lonely tumbleweed feeling. Often it is      the only way you&#8217;ll be able to create a guest room, too.</li>
<li>Create a memento of your guests. Some people use guest      books; I take photographs. I have photo displays of most of the people who      have been at my home. They are a useful diversion for my current guests      when I&#8217;m caught in the kitchen!</li>
<li>Let your pastors know that you are willing to host      visitors. I know a single woman in Wales who has had numerous people from      the States (and possibly other countries) in her home. Allyson cheerfully      tours the same Welsh landmarks and tourist hotspots with most of her      guests, cooks for them, and laughs lots with them. She seemingly knows      everyone in my international church network because of her hospitality!</li>
<li>Team up to pull off larger events. My former roommate      and I used to trade off being the &#8220;kitchen slave&#8221; (our joking term) for      each other&#8217;s dinner parties. Or share your resources. I once threw a      formal New Year&#8217;s Eve party at one man&#8217;s house because it was large enough      to accommodate everyone. He supplied the house and I supplied the party.</li>
<li>Finally, don&#8217;t forget to show hospitality to those who      cannot repay you, for in this way you will be emulating your Lord and      following His command (Luke 14:12-14).</li>
</ul>
<p>When I hosted that infamous Christmas dinner party, I invited three couples to thank them for their friendship and investment in my life. All three couples were members of my church, and greatly invested in the church&#8217;s ministry. Two of the men were my pastors. All three of the women were busy mothers with children ranging from pre-school to high school.Â  Each of them was notable for the amount of time and service they poured into other people. So I counted it a great privilege that I could invite them all over for an evening where they were served. If any thought it was odd to be invited to the home of a single woman, there was no evidence of it. All of them accepted eagerly, and remarked repeatedly that they had a great time. If any thought it was uncomfortable to seat seven people, and not an even six, at the table, they gave no indication of it. Instead, they each seemed delighted to receive hospitalityÂ -Â even when one couple encountered the &#8220;cranky kitchen maid&#8221;! What a joy it was to use my home to gather together these friends and co-laborers in the Kingdom for a holiday dinner.</p>
<p>Ladies, may we never fear odd numbers around our tables, for our Lord is always with us. And may He richly reward us as we &#8220;contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality&#8221; (Romans 12:13).</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Â© Carolyn McCulley</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/divider.gif"><img class="size-full wp-image-48 alignnone" title="Home, Sweet Mission Field (for singles) Photo  | Girls Gone Wise" src="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/divider.gif" alt="Home, Sweet Mission Field (for singles) Photo | Girls Gone Wise" width="71" height="28" /></a></p>
<p><em>Adapted from &#8220;Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred&#8221; by Carolyn McCulley.Â  Â© 2004 by Carolyn McCulley. Published byÂ Crossway Books, Wheaton, Illinois.Â  Used by permission.</em></p>
<p>Related posts:<ol>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/singular-hospitality/' rel='bookmark' title='Singular Hospitality'>Singular Hospitality</a></li>
<li><a href='http://www.girlsgonewise.com/enlarging-your-tent-for-singles/' rel='bookmark' title='Enlarging Your Tent (for Singles)'>Enlarging Your Tent (for Singles)</a></li>
</ol></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Singular Hospitality</title>
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		<pubDate>Mon, 11 May 2009 14:17:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Carolyn McCulley</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hospitality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Make a Difference]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Singles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Acts 16:15]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lydia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Proverbs 14:1]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romans 12:13]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Titusl 2:3-5]]></category>
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		<description><![CDATA[Lydia was a single woman, head of a household consisting mainly of servants. It was probably in her house that the first church in Philippi began to meet. Perhaps it was in her house that the church gathered to take up a collection to send Paul as he endured house arrest in Rome...It's hard to know what precisely happened in Lydia's home, except for this fact -- her first act of ministry as a believer was to offer her home and hospitality.
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There was only a small group of women praying that day by the river. But these were women the Lord had prepared. The first convert in the group &#8211; the first convert in all of Europe, to be exact &#8211; was a woman named Lydia. She was a successful businesswoman, trading in the luxury item of purple cloth. Upon her conversion, she insisted that Paul and his apostolic missionaries share her home and receive her hospitality, evidence of her faithfulness to the Lord. (<a href="http://bible.logos.com/passage/esv/Acts%2016.15" target="_blank">Acts 16:15</a>).</p>
<p>It appears Lydia was also a single woman, head of a household consisting mainly of servants. It was probably in her house that the first church in Philippi began to meet. Perhaps it was in her house that the church gathered to take up a collection to send Paul as he endured house arrest in Rome. Maybe they were there to hear the letter from Paul that contained his effusive thanks for their generosity, and wherein he shared his secret for being content in any and every circumstance. It&#8217;s hard to know what precisely happened in Lydia&#8217;s home, except for this fact &#8212; her first act of ministry as a believer was to offer her home and hospitality.</p>
<p><strong>&#8216;Keepers at home&#8217;</strong></p>
<blockquote>
<p style="padding-left: 30px;"><em>&#8220;The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children; To be discreet, chaste, <strong>keepers at home</strong>, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.&#8221; &#8211; </em><a href="http://bible.logos.com/passage/esv/Titus%202.3-5" target="_blank"><em>Titus 2:3-5</em></a></p>
</blockquote>
<p>It&#8217;s easy to understand the Titus 2 command to be &#8220;keepers at home&#8221; as focusing on the quality of home life in the context of marriage and family. But I don&#8217;t think Paul intended only for the married women to display the fruits of sound doctrine in their lives through being keepers of the home. The Greek word that Paul uses here is <em>oikourgous</em>, which is a compound word meaning &#8220;homeworker.&#8221; Paul is charging older women to teach younger women that among &#8220;good things&#8221; that keep God&#8217;s Word from being blasphemed is tending to the home. The implication is that there is valuable work to be done through and in the home. As <a href="http://bible.logos.com/passage/esv/Proverbs%2014.1" target="_blank">Proverbs 14:1</a> emphasizes, wise women build their homes, but foolish ones tear theirs down. There is no qualification there regarding marital status. Women in all seasons of life can either be wise or foolish about the work that is done in their homes. Why? Home is where we care for those who live with us, and where we can reach out to care for the needs of others &#8211; the saints and the lost alike. As single women, we may or may not have people living with us to care for, but we typically have an abundance of opportunities to care for others in our homes in a way that promotes the glory of God.</p>
<p><strong>What Would Martha Do?</strong></p>
<p>In his letter to the Romans, Paul makes it clear that all believers are to invite others into their homes through the practice of hospitality (<a href="http://bible.logos.com/passage/esv/Romans%2012.13" target="_blank">Romans 12:13</a>). He also instructs Timothy that showing hospitality is one of the many good deeds that should characterize women who are the list of widows supported by the church (<a href="http://bible.logos.com/passage/esv/1%20Timothy%205.10" target="_blank">1 Timothy 5:10</a>). Is Paul expecting that impoverished widows entertain lavishly? Of course not. I believe that our modern thinking of hospitality has been improperly shaped through entertainment mavens such as Martha Stewart. It&#8217;s not a matter of <em>what would Martha do</em> when guests come, but rather, <em>what did Martha miss</em> when guests were in her home? In this, I&#8217;m pitting our modern Martha against the Biblical Martha, but I think it&#8217;s safe to say both are better known for the tasks of entertaining, rather than the heart of hospitality. We&#8217;re not to open our homes to show off our possessions or culinary skills, but to draw others into what God is doing among His people.</p>
<p>Years ago, a love for the home and hospitality wouldn&#8217;t have been characteristic of me. I viewed my home as a crash pad for my possessions, a transitory abode until &#8220;something better&#8221; came along. My cooking was lovingly (and correctly!) mocked by my family as &#8220;fish wads and pudding lumps.&#8221; Though I made periodic attempts to pull off the lavish dinner party, I was usually wiped out by the effort. But when I became a Christian, I observed the way the women in my church invested in their homes and I allowed them to disciple me in these womanly ways. I began to balance the public and private spheres of my life by tending to my home. Now that I own a house, I&#8217;ve intentionally designed and furnished it for hospitality (even preparing for children who drop by). To my great delight, I&#8217;ve seen the Lord bless many ministry opportunities there. Though it takes a lot of effort to work all day as a single woman and then rush home to clean and cook for guests, it&#8217;s well worth it. In case I need a reminder, I&#8217;ve preserved those moments in a photo album of guests, along with the command from <a href="http://bible.logos.com/passage/esv/Romans%2012.13" target="_blank">Romans 12:13</a> to practice hospitality.</p>
<p>As single women, Lydia&#8217;s example is a good one to emulate. She was obviously prepared to offer her home for hospitality, but probably never suspected that from her home an entire continent eventually would be affected by the Gospel.</p>
<p style="text-align: center;">Â© Carolyn McCulley</p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/divider.gif"><img class="size-full wp-image-48 alignnone" title="Singular Hospitality Photo  | Girls Gone Wise" src="http://www.girlsgonewise.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/divider.gif" alt="Singular Hospitality Photo | Girls Gone Wise" width="71" height="28" /></a></p>
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