1. Give him Valentines by the Dozens:

Buy a box of cute kid’s valentines–Mickey Mouse, Buzz Lightyear, Cinderella, or whatever. Sign the back of each valentine. Place them where your sweetheart will find them throughout the day—on the mirror, in the fridge, on dashboard of the car, in a briefcase, tucked in a Bible, etc. Hide a few so your loved one will keep finding valentines cards for days.

2. Pack a Valentine’s Picnic:

Pack a picnic lunch for your sweetheart. Throw in some candles, a red table cloth, and some beautiful wine goblets. Have a picnic with him in his office, at a park, or on a roof top … use your imagination.

3. Burn a Personal CD:

Compile and burn all your favorite tunes and love songs on a CD. Create and print a customized cover from a kit you purchase at an office supply store.

4. Make a Romantic Jigsaw:

Write a love letter, poem, or song on one side of a heavy piece of cardstock.  Paste a favorite photo or collage of photos on the other side. Cut the message into jigsaw puzzle pieces that he needs to put together before he can read it.

5.  Create a Crossword Puzzle:

Make a crossword puzzle of your history together as a couple. For example, you could include the place you met, the name of a favorite song, a restaurant you often dine at, memorable events and occasions, gifts you exchanged, favorite activities, etc. To help you put the crossword together, visit http://www.supercrosswordcreator.com

6. Name a Star:

Name a Star after your sweetheart and then view your star online using a robotically controlled telescope at   http://www.nameastarlive.com/

7. Leave a Message on the Lawn:

Let the whole neighborhood know how much you love your guy. Stamp a message in the snow and tint it with red food coloring. No snow?  Purchase some Athletic Field Marker Spray in red or white for about $7 a can and paint a big valentine message on the grass.

8. Celebrate 12 Days of Valentine’s:

We have 12 days of Christmas, so why not 12 days of Valentine’s? Starting on Valentine’s Day, give your sweetheart 1 small gift.  On day 2, surprise him with 2 small items. For example: 2 coupons, 3 love songs, 4 heart-shaped cookies, 5 love poems, 6 car fresheners, 7 balloons, “I Love You” in 8 languages, 9 message heart candies, 10 reasons why you love him, 11 Hershey kisses, 12 cupcakes. You get the idea.

9. Hang some love on a Valentine’s Tree:

Gather some branches and put them in a jar.  Cut out heart-shaped notes and hang them from the branches.  Also hang chocolates and other treats from the tree.

10.  Jar of Affection:

Decorate a large jar with valentines. Fill the jar with folded pieces of paper—coupons—for “treats” such as a kiss, a back rub, breakfast in bed, coffee at starbucks, candles with dinner, etc. Your sweetheart gets to draw one coupon out each day until they are gone.

 Celebrate Valentine’s Day All Year

Why confine the celebration to one day? Take advantage of Valentine’s season by heading down to the dollar store and stocking up on inexpensive wrapping paper, valentine’s décor and heart-emblazoned trinkets so that you can show your sweetie how much you love him throughout the year.

Do you have any great low-budget Valentine Ideas to share? I’d love for you to leave a comment and add to the list.

Related posts:

1. Whole Woman Day – Raleigh
2. Calling all Men on International Women’s Day

1. Empty toilet paper roll fight

Overhang or underhang is just the start of it. An empty toilet paper roll can be a sign of so many other things that get left undone in the daily life of a marriage: socks that never make it to the hamper, phone calls that don’t get returned, dry cleaning that doesn’t get picked up, or stranded coffee mugs left in the sink for the other partner to wash. Whether due to a difference in personal tendency to be neat or messy or chronic amnesia for life’s little details, these seemingly small, random things can add up.

2. TV watching fight

Fights over the remote aren’t just limited to kids. The location and size of the TV and amount of screen time consumed can make for a surprisingly contentious issue among grown-ups too. Whose TV-watching preferences reign supreme? Is it sports night or chick flick or quiet time with no TV on at all? The resentment that can build over who holds the remote can be a nightly source of irritation. If your partner has as a video game addiction (or worse) or logs too many hours on Facebook, squabbles over screen time can lead to bigger fights about priorities.

3. What to do on vacation fight

Sun or ski? Drive or fly? One star or four star? A family trip with the kids or a couple-only vacation? Once you start to plan a relaxing and rejuvenating vacation, you may need a vacation just to get over the stress of planning.

4. I need me-time fight

Whether it’s a run to the gym, girls’ nights out, boys’ nights out or even longer trips away – finding some “me” in the middle of a “we” can be difficult to negotiate without hurting feelings. Who gets more time off? It always feels like the other person.

5. Your family bugs me fight

You thought it was a good idea to marry a mama’s boy and now you don’t want to fight for his attention. Or maybe you always feel judged by your spouse’s parents, or what your spouse considers close and nurturing feels a whole lot more like suffocation to you. Mother-in-law jokes sure don’t seem as funny when they’re all about yours!

6. Whose holiday tradition fight

Our own personal holiday traditions frame how we enjoy and celebrate special holidays. But since no two families are alike it can be tough to blend those loved traditions. Christmas morning can be a stressful time if one person has always opened presents at midnight but the other is used to waiting for daybreak. Holiday dinners can be contentious if one is used to long ritualistic events with family but the other likes to eat and get it over with (or, horrors, can’t stand turkey).

7. You’re working too much fight

Coordinating work schedules in the modern age requires both a spreadsheet expert and a relationship coach. There is nothing like sitting at home eating dinner by yourself because your spouse had to finish that report or go to one last meeting. Having your partner physically present but with one eye on the smartphone is not much better; attending a parent-teacher meeting with one parent in the hallway talking on the phone is just plain embarrassing. Trying to balance work schedules and family life is really about priorities, and no one wants to feel like they take second seat to work.

8. How to bring up the kids fight

Parents all come with their own thoughts, ideas and baggage when it comes to how to raise the kids and you and your spouse may not always be aligned. Everything from child care and schooling to how much to spend on the kids’ clothes can be loaded issues.

9. Sex (or lack thereof) fight

Even relationship-bonding sexual intimacy can be a source of stress, especially if the couple has mismatched levels of sexual desire. When a couple is fighting about sex, even the simplest signs of affection become loaded with deeper meaning.

10. Spending money fight

Somehow squabbles about other topics often lead back to a fight about money – especially when one partner is a spendthrift and one is a spender. Fighting about the cost of shoes or new TVs can lead to a more hurtful discussion about the feelings of value in the relationship, and differing values about money can jeopardize your financial future.

Let’s make it Scientific (sort of)

Did MSN get it right? I thought it would be fun to make it a bit more scientific by actually taking a poll. What do you squabble about most in your relationship? Pick your top 3, then click on the link to view the results.

What do you think about the MSN list or about our poll results? Are there any fights not listed here that are unique to Christian couples?

Related posts:

1. The Case Against Marriage
2. Better-than-Seinfeld Marriage Advice
3. A Top-Secret-John-Piper-Family Recipe Just In Time For Christmas

Every bride desires to look beautiful for her groom. And every groom desires to admire his bride’s beauty. The focal point of preparation for a wedding revolves around a bride’s efforts to make herself as attractive as possible for her groom. It culminates in the moment when the groom sees his bride dressed in splendor, standing by his side, ready to be wed.

The King Desires Your Beauty

Psalm 45 is a song celebrating the marriage of a Hebrew King to a foreign Princess. But it’s also a messianic prophecy pointing to the relationship between Christ the King and His Church-Bride. The Bride in the Royal Wedding Song is described as “all-glorious.” She and her attendants make every possible effort to ensure that she looks spectacular for the big day:

“All glorious is the princess in her chamber, with robes interwoven with gold. In many-colored robes she is led to the king, with her virgin companions following behind her. With joy and gladness they are led along as they enter the palace of the king.”

A Bride makes herself as beautiful as she can for her Bridegroom. And the groom expects and anticipates that she will do this for him. The wedding psalmist declares to the Bride: “The king desires your beauty!” (Psalm 45:11)

Scripture uses the imagery of a bride adorning herself for her groom to illustrate how we are to make ourselves beautiful for our King. The Lord wants us to clothe ourselves in fine, spotless garments of righteousness—in holy character and holy deeds. Our King greatly desires our beauty. He expects that we will prepare and make ourselves ready. He longs for the moment we will stand by His side, ready for the wedding of the Lamb. (Revelation 19:7—8)

Dress to Impress

I’m amazed when I think that God created manhood, womanhood and marriage as an object lesson about His character and plan. I’m amazed that He wrote the parable directly on human flesh—that He penned the divine story directly on my body, and yours. I’m amazed that the illustration has been inscribed on each of the millions and billions of women and men that have ever lived. I’m overwhelmed with wonder each time I witness a wedding, and see how the Bride has adorned herself for her groom, and when I think of the great Love Story to which all earthly love stories point.

The fuss over the Royal Wedding and the bridal gown of Her Royal Highness, the Duchess of Cambridge, reminds me of these cosmic truths all over again. It challenges me to consider whether I am making myself ready for the big day. Am I clothing myself in a spectacular, spotless wedding gown, resplendent with the holiness of Jesus? Am I making every effort, as God’s chosen one, holy and beloved, to “put on” compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, and love toward others? (Colossians 3:12-14) Are you?

Because our preparation for our debut at the Royal Wedding is important. The King desires our beauty. He wants us to dress to impress. He wants us to say YES to the dress—and to look amazing for that much anticipated Day!

Related posts:

1. The Royal Wedding

“Dearly Beloved; we are gathered here in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony—which is an honorable estate, instituted by God Himself, signifying to us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and His Church . . .”

I wonder how many observers caught the depth of meaning in those opening words. That one sentence contains some profound, staggering truths about marriage and the meaning of manhood and womanhood and sex.

The traditional opening to the marriage ceremony acknowledges that marriage isn’t a man-made institution. It was instituted by God Himself. He’s the author of marriage, and therefore, He alone defines what marriage is all about.

The Reason God Created Marriage

The opening states that the reason God created male and female and marriage was to “signify” to us “the mystical union between Christ and His Church.” When God described the work of His Son as the sacrifice of a husband for his bride, He was telling us the ultimate reason why He made us male and female, and why He created marriage and sex. Christ and His Bride is the reason.

God created manhood, womanhood, marriage and sex because He wanted us to have symbols, images, and language powerful enough to convey the idea of who He is and what a relationship with Him is all about. Without manhood, womanhood, marriage and sex, we would have a tough time understanding concepts such as desire, love, commitment, fidelity, infidelity, loyalty, jealousy, unity, intimacy, oneness, covenant, and family. We would have a tough time understanding God and the gospel. God gave us these images so that we would have human thoughts, feelings, experiences and language adequate and powerful enough to understand and express deep spiritual truths. The visible symbols display and testify about what is unseen. That’s why the symbols are so very important.

Marriage puts the Gospel on Display

Human sexuality is a parable —a testimony to the character of God and to His spectacular plan of redemption through Jesus. This spiritual truth is so magnificent that God chose to put it on display permanently. Everywhere. Men were created to reflect the strength, love and self-sacrifice of Christ. Women were created to reflect the grace and beauty of the Bride He redeemed. God created marriage and sex to display the joining of Christ and the church in an indivisible covenant. History started with the covenant wedding and sexual union of a man and woman because it will end with the covenant wedding and spiritual union of Christ and His Bride. Marriage was created to tell the cosmic love story of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Marriage is Holy and Honorable

Finally, the introduction to the ceremony identifies matrimony as “a holy and honorable estate.” The Lord wants us to respect the deep, holy, sacred meaning of marriage, and uphold the sacredness of the sexual act. God intended that sex “seal the deal” of a marriage covenant. The physical union of a husband and wife illustrates—in the physical realm—that a permanent, legal, unbreakable covenant of love has been established in the spiritual realm.

The one-flesh union of husband and wife is to model and mimic cosmic truths about the mystical union between Christ and the Church. A covenant must be in place before any union can occur between God and man. The Lord wants us to tell this same story with our sexual conduct. Sex outside of a permanent, one-flesh, legal, heterosexual marriage covenant is a violation of God’s design. Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

The Royal Wedding

Last week’s Royal Wedding was a joyous event. I was so glad to hear the Officiate acknowledge—right up front—that as splendid as the marriage of William and Kate was, it pales in comparison with that to which it points. The guests in Westminster Cathedral, the millions of spectators on the streets of London, and the billions crouched around TV screens in nations all around the world were all “gathered in the sight of God” to witness the joining of another man and woman in holy matrimony—which is an honorable estate, instituted by God Himself, signifying to us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and His Church.

I wonder how many got the real message.

Watch Opening Words of Marriage Ceremony

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Not long after I graduated from the University of Arkansas, one of my good friends came to me for counsel. She was dating a young man who happened to be my best friend, and I knew what was happening in that relationship. She wanted to marry him, but he was hot and cold, uncertain of whether he was willing to commit himself to her.
For some reason, I had doubts about whether they should marry. So when she asked me for advice, I told her a parable I had recently heard:

A little boy named Johnny was playing marbles in his front yard. His uncle drove up and decided to play with the boy for a few minutes. Then the uncle reached into his pocket and pulled out a dime and a dollar.  “Johnny,” he asked, “would you like a dime today or a dollar next week?”

Johnny’s boyish eyes bounced back and forth between the shiny dime and the crisp greenback. He thought, I could buy a bag of potato chips today, or I could wait until next week and buy a rubber ball. He felt some hunger pangs, so he grabbed the dime, boutht some chips and wolfed them down. They were delicious.

A week passed, and when Johnny went out to play one afternoon, he noticed that every other boy in his neighborhood had a rubber ball. He wanted one real bad, so he rode his bicycle over to his uncle’s house.  “Hey, Uncle, how about that dollar you promised me?” Johnny asked. But his uncle looked down and said, “Johnny, last week I promised you a dime today or a dollar next week, and you made your choice. You can’t have the dollar now.”

When I finished that story, I asked the young lady, “Do you believe that God is big enough to give you someone else later on that you could love more than this guy?” She thought for a moment and nodded her head yes.

“Perhaps,” I said, “God in His sovereignty knows that this young man you are dating is a dime, and He has a dollar for you later on.”

You’ll have to get the book to find out how the story of the young lady ends, but what stuck me, is how much this parable pertains to the lives of many young women. They settle for guys who are “dimes.”

The young men are often nice, but have serious problems with character and integrity. And the young women are afraid of letting go. They’re afraid they won’t find a dollar-kind of guy. They know the relationships are unhealthy, but in fear, they keep hanging on. They settle for the cheap, quick satisfaction of the dime instead of patiently trusting God to deliver the greater, lasting satisfaction of the dollar.

Do you trust the Lord enough to say “no” to an immediate lesser gratification, so that someday you’ll be blessed with a greater, lasting one?  It’s a great question to consider. When it comes to the choices you make, are you choosing to patiently wait for the dollar?–Or are you settling for the dime?

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By the way, this is a GREAT book for couples considering marriage to work through!

“Preparing for Marriage: Discover God’s Plan for a Lifetime of Love,” edited by Dennis Rainey

It can be tempting, for couples who are engaged, to focus on planning their wedding day and ignore preparations for the lifetime commitment that begins after the cake is cut. Now, with this revised and updated edition of Preparing for Marriage from FamilyLife, couples can do both!

Created by one of America’s leading marriage and family ministries, this dynamic program is designed to help Christian couples lay the foundation for a strong, lasting and biblical marriage.

Preparing for Marriage includes eight sessions of fun, romantic study that will help couples identify areas for growth in their relationship and start them off on the right foot before they walk down the aisle. Couples will learn how to discern God’s will for their relationship, to handle finances and plans for the future, to clarify their roles and responsibilities, to develop a loving sexual relationship, to deal with family histories and past issues, and much more!

I’ll be giving away a copy of this book together with a copy of “Starting Your Marriage Right” on Facebook on Monday, Sept. 13, 2010.  Join the Girls Gone Wise facebook page and enter to win!

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