When God Breaks Your Heart
There it was glaring out from the computer screen. The words I never thought I would see. I had been so confident in how God had directed me. For a moment I could not breathe. “We regret to inform you that…” I couldn’t read the rest of the email. The tears suddenly gushing down my face had obscured my vision. The email shattered my dreams. My heart, that desired so badly to serve God in this particular way, crumbled into pieces.
I could not understand how this had happened. I prayed so hard. I prayed all of the right things “… God, Your will be done. God, give me a desire for the choice you want me to make, and take away all desires for the other options. God, confirm this if it is your will. God, shut the doors that I do not need to enter. God, I want this badly, but I want you more … ” He took away my desires for every option but one. He confirmed over and over again that this was what He had for me. He closed every door and window except for this one.
And then he closed this one.
What do you do when God breaks your heart?
The pain was so great that I couldn’t bear it alone. Somehow I found myself driving, brushing away tears as they clung to the edge of my sunglasses. Swallowing sobs, I tried to concentrate on driving, but my only thought was, “Oh God, what now?”
I ended up at the home of a lifelong friend. “Why,” I asked angrily, “Does God tell you something and then all of a sudden change his mind?”
“God is truth.” She said, opening her Bible. “Everything God tells you is truth. Remember, He sees things different than you do. ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says the LORD.’” (Isaiah 55:8)
Why does God break our heart?
1. Because our hearts lead us astray.
I am a planner, a card-carrying member of the list-bound masses. We are very goal oriented…. It is how we make it through the day. So when God gives us a future goal, we work toward that point as if our life depended on it (because we think it does). And somewhere along the way, the goal can become our god. And God becomes an afterthought that we occasionally ask to bless our efforts. And just like that, our hearts have led us astray. “The heart is deceitful…who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)
2. Because God is a jealous God.
Often, the goal becomes our God. We make it into an idol and organize our life in worship to it. Whether it is a relationship, career path, academic degree, status symbol, or to-do list we are determined to complete, when that goal becomes the ruling authority in our lives, it is an idol. And God is a jealous God. He wants to be number one in our hearts and lives. Because He is God – that is His right. That goal or list may be your security blanket, but it is powerless to save you from the sentence of your own sin. “You shall have no other gods before me…for I the Lord your God am a jealous God.” (Exodus 20:3-5)
3. Because God loves us.
In breaking our hearts, God is rescuing us from ourselves. God breaks our hearts, not to hurt us or because He enjoys our pain – no! God breaks our hearts when we have become so focused on some goal, rather than on Him. He breaks our heart because it is the only way He can save us from ourselves. He breaks our heart because it is the only way to remove a dream that is not His best for His daughter. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Prov. 16:9)
4. Because God is seeking a relationship.
In my limited human understanding, it seemed like God had lied. Yet Scripture makes it clear that God is incapable of lying and that everything God said is true.
So had I heard wrong? Had I misunderstood God for all these years? No…and Yes.
When I finally stopped crying, I remembered that God had set me on this path, but had not promised the endpoint. In my itty-bitty human mind, taking a path only had one outcome….reaching the goal. But God is not bound by my small-mindedness. He guided me to work toward the goal, but He never promised I would achieve it, I just assumed… “For my thoughts are not your thoughts… declares the Lord.” (Isaiah 55:8) Many times God may lead us down a certain path toward an unknown door. We, of course, are focused solely on the door at the end of the journey. When we reach the end, we may find that the door is locked. God did not lie. We may be distracted by the human goal, but God was leading us toward an eternal goal – a closer relationship with Him.
Then how are we supposed to plan?
Does this mean that plans are evil and we cannot make lists?
No. It means we should not structure our lives in worship of the “Almighty List.” It means never setting a goal above God in our hearts. It means we are to make plans in humility, submitting every hope, dream and earthly goal to the Lordship of Christ. We must hold the things of this earth loosely. Our only immovable goal should be God Himself. (James 4:13-16)
What do you do when God breaks your heart?
When God breaks your heart….hand Him the pieces.
Because He is good and trustworthy and He will always do the best thing. God is good, and even though my dream was dead, my heart rested securely in the arms of my Savior. Looking back, I see now that God had to break my heart to remove that dream so that He could guide me to a far better dream. God was acting in my best interest, even thought it hurt. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.” (Prov. 3:5-6)
© Gabrielle Pickle
Wonder why we have to learn this over and over again? Well said.
Because we DON’T learn it, that’s why we go through it over and over again. When we finally learn to let God lead our lives and trust Him in these things we don’t have to keep repeating the same lesson and same test.
But then… it’s time to learn something new, deeper, different, bigger, harder… and do that lesson and test until we get it.
Guess how I know this… Yep, I learnt it the hard way!
Because it’s not about the goal, it’s about the relationship… Goals are achieved and over and you move on. Relationships are ongoing. So you keep on learning.
I can not believe how God talked to me through reading these words….
Seriously, this was written for me, I needed this.
Thank You My Lord
This came at exactly the right time for me, and it is so true! Thank you.
This article really opened my eyes. I always struggle to think that God is not fair and it is an ongoing battle to rely on His promises and His love.
Such profound words.
One of the scriptures I hold onto in times like this is “God promised many good things to Israel and He kept His promise EVERY time” Joshua 21 v 45.
God always keeps His promises but I have also learnt that many of His promises come with a condition, a bit that we have to do first e.g. we have to delight in the Lord before He will give us the desires of our hearts (Ps 37 v 4). If God’s given you a promise He will fulfill it, sooner or later, just check with Him that you’re doing your part too.
This post brought me to tears.. it was exactly what I needed to read. Thank you so much!
this message is for me.Thank u dearly Lord for bringing this message my way.
When God breaks my heart, I ask Him to show me what He is teaching me in the process.
God is so cool. He really is. Life is a journey to draw us closer to God and when we submit to Him, He will do amazing and unexpected things. Sometimes in our short-sitedness, He allows us to prepare for a certain thing. This gives us tools, confidence, preparedness for something. We think it is the thing we prepared for. What we don’t know is that all along, God is working to prepare something just right, even better than we could imagine. We just have to wait on everything to be put together. Sometimes there is hurt or frustration involved. That helps us grow. Also, it helps us to not get too comfortable when God has better plans for us. God never promised tomorrow, so we should not worry about tomorrow, though we can be prepared. Life is an amazing journey to a wonderful, loving God who loves to show that He is real and that He truly loves us and really knows us, far better than we ourselves do. God is so cool!
I also was encouraged by this article. Sounded like a reminder from a good friend. I just read a great book that is very related: Rescuing Ambition, by Dave Harvey. Thought anyone who wanted to go deeper on the matter might benefit by reading it!
Really blessing me… yes He breaks my dream nowadays and this article made me more understand why… thanks =)
God bless…
[...] God Breaks Your Heart” by Gabrielle Pickle. Originally appeared at Girls Gone Wise. Used by permission of Girls Gone [...]
Thank you so much for this word.I needed someone to explain to me what i feel.How can a loving God do this to his daughter? It was so hard to forgive him for breaking my heart.But i did.That was the first step.Now i`m trying to picture my life without my dream.I trust God,i know that one day i will understand why he did this to me.sometimes it`s hurts so much.But i love God more than anything.
MAY I PLEASE, PLEASE, REALLY AND TRULY BE THE NEW HEART, WHO DO NOT HAVE TO EVER GET BROKEN BY GOD AND OTHERS! EVEN THOUGH GOD BREAKS OUR HEARTS NOT TO HURT US OR HE DOES NOT BREAK OUR HEARTS AT ALL! MAY I PLEASE, PLEASE BE EVERY DAY, EVERY NIGHT, A BRAND NEW MIND, SPIRIT, SOUL AND BODY, STARTING RIGHT NOW, ANOTHER NEWEST SPIRIT, SPIRITUAL BEING WHOM EVERY DAY, EVERY NIGHT, AND ETERNITY TO COME,BE LETTING THE LORD GOD, AND ALL RIGHTFUL PEOPLE AND OTHERS SUCH AS ANIMALS LIVE HONORABLE AND RESPECTABLE TO ME, WHO IS A BRAND NEW MIND, AND SPIRIT, PLUS THAT SAME ME WHO IS GOING TO BE A BRAND NEW BODY AND SOUL IN THE FUTURE, BY BEING ACTIVE IN LIVING THE NEW SPIRIT ME NOW, NOT THE PART OF ME WHO SINS, BUT THE PART OF ME WHO NEVER SINS, NEVER MAKE MISTAKES, ETC. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DEAR GOD, I AM PLEADING FOR YOU, TO FORGIVE ME OF ALL MY WRONG DOINGS, THE FAULTS AND FAILURES TO DO THE GOOD WORKS, ETC THAT I WAS AND IS SUPPOSED TO DO, SUPPOSE TO DO. I AM SO GLAD THAT THERE ARE GOOD WORKS AND ENTERTAINMENT, THE LEISURE THAT EXIST THAT I PERFORM! THANK GOD, AMEN AND HALLELUJAH! AFFECTIONATELY, CORDIALLY, Afeni! NOW, ALWAYS AND FOREVER!
So beautifully written. What’s that old saying about how the best way to make God laugh is to tell Him our plans?
Of course it’s much easier to be serene about it when you’re in a stage of life where God’s plans have made you happier than you could ever have imagined your own doing. The heartbreak has healed.